• There was one bed in the caravan; our bed became the sofa, the reading nook, the gymnastics hall, the craft bench, the fighting den and the cuddle pit. (Getty Images)Source: Getty Images
One of the unknown benefits with travelling around the country for a year with her family was the impact it had on the dynamic of Kemi Nekvapil's marriage.
By
Kemi Nekvapil

13 May 2016 - 12:24 PM  UPDATED 13 May 2016 - 12:54 PM

One of the unknown benefits with travelling around the country for a year with my husband and two children was the impact it had on the dynamic of my marriage.

When you live a crafted life, by which I mean our day-to-day life has a very strong structure and routine, there is not always the space to explore the dynamics you create.

I feel incredibly blessed to work from home; my husband leaves for work each day and my children are at school; I get a lot of space on a daily basis.

So one week into our trip, when the family was having a very loud and enjoyable time, I remember placing my head in my hands and thinking, “what have I done?” I am not sure I can do this. Fifty-one weeks to go, with no physical or emotional space; I could feel myself contracting.

One week into our trip, when the family was having a very loud and enjoyable time, I remember placing my head in my hands and thinking, “what have I done?"

I believe the right book will always find you when you need it, so thank heaven for Quiet – The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking by Susan Cain.

There is something very unnerving about picking up a book at forty-one and suddenly being able to piece large parts of your personality together: it also shed light on the dynamic of my marriage.

My husband is mainly extroverted: when we arrived at a caravan park, he would literally know all of the inhabitants within moments. I, on the other hand, would literally be peering out of the window of the caravan hoping no one would see me.

I asked my husband to read Quiet. I asked him because I needed him to understand me as much as I was beginning to understand me; the book also allowed me to understand him more. He loves dynamic energy, I love dynamic peace, and sometimes we both need and crave a piece of the other.

We had time on the trip to explore the introvert / extrovert in our dynamic, and how we had created our daily lives.

We had time on the trip to explore the introvert / extrovert in our dynamic, and how we had created our daily lives.

It is only when we were taken out of our routines that we had the time and space to reflect back and see all of this.

There was one bed in the caravan; our bed became the sofa, the reading nook, the gymnastics hall, the craft bench, the fighting den and the cuddle pit.

One morning, as my daughter was making her way towards the bed with her book, and my son was making his way with his drawing paraphernalia, I literally knelt up on the bed, with my hands in a desperate STOP gesture, and said, “This is my bed. No one is coming onto it. This is my space; I want it free from anybody except me.” They looked at me like I was joking; I was not joking.

“Come on mum……”.

I am serious you are not allowed on my bed.”

They looked at me with concern and a hint of “you’re crazy”, in a way that only one’s own children can.

They went outside.

My husband looked at me and instead of asking “Are you crazy?” he just smiled at me.

One of the unknown benefits of travelling around the country for a year with my family was the impact it had on the dynamic of my marriage.

Kemi is a life-coach, speaker and the author of Raw Beauty – The 7 principles to nourish your body, transform your mind and create the life you want.

Love Kemi? Follow her on Twitter @keminekvapil.

Read these too
Lost in space
As post-war refugees from Croatia living in Western Sydney in the 1970s, language was the final frontier for Tom Dusevic's mother and aunt. But there was one activity able to break down all barriers: shopping.
Making up for lost time with double dreaming
Meet Kemi, our life coach, delivering real-world motivation in her weekly column. First up, is the many paths she has travelled to be the unapologetic dreamer that she is.