• What action could you take today to triumph over your negative inner voice? (Flickr)Source: Flickr
When your negative inner voice pipes up, acknowledge it, take action, and things will begin to move and shift, writes Kemi Nekvapil.
By
Kemi Nekvapil

25 Jul 2016 - 5:26 PM  UPDATED 25 Jul 2016 - 5:26 PM

We all have a little voice in our head. Perhaps that voice just told you that you have no voice in your head? That is the voice in your head; a psychologist might call this internal conversation ‘inner speech’. This voice is something completely different to what some people who suffer from a mental illness experience.

This voice is where you run through conversations you’ve had with others in the past, or want to have in the future. This is the voice that will say to you, “Yes!”, when you have achieved something great, or call you a failure for a simple mistake you’ve made.

This voice should never be underestimated; it’s the voice that will determine how we live, and what we think we’re capable of, in all areas of our lives.

Some people say they have at least two voices, the one that gives them positive input and feedback, and the other that gives them only negative input and feedback, the voice that says “you can’t” in many different ways.

One of the biggest mistakes I believe people make is to wait for the negative voice to go away before taking action.

Which voice is talking to you? When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thought that comes to your mind?

“Fantastic. Another day. How exciting!” or “Oh no, not another day. I’m so tired.”?

When you look in the mirror while getting dressed, does your voice say complimentary or disparaging things about your body?

When you’re about to have a difficult conversation, does your voice say, “This may be hard, but you can do this” or “You’re going to make a mess of this and make it worse”? 

This voice is a paralysing experience for many people experience; they’re unable to take action, especially when faced with the prospect of doing something out of their comfort zone.

The voice might never go away, but if we can begin to understand it more, we can create ways of living with and maybe even silencing it more often.

What takes us out of our comfort zone is different for each individual. For some, making a presentation at work is daunting, and their voice is telling them they can not do a good job at it, so they do not make the presentation and possibly lose a promotion. Someone else might back out of asking someone out on a date because the voice tells them that the other person will say no; they might not ask, never knowing what the outcome could have been.

One of the biggest mistakes I believe people make is to wait for the negative voice to go away before taking action.

The voice might never go away, but if we can begin to understand it more, we can create ways of living with and maybe even silencing it more often.

One way of working with the voice is to listen a little closer. I once had a client who believed that the voice was her ‘safety officer’ – it wanted her to be safe, so she acknowledged it and did what she needed to do anyway.

Other people talk back to the voice – “thank you for sharing your opinion’’ – and make the presentation anyway.

When we hear the voice, acknowledge it, take action, and things will begin to move and shift.

 

Today’s coaching questions:

1. What negative statement does your voice say to you on a regular basis?

2. Where do you think your negative voice has the most impact in your life?

3. What action could you take today to triumph over the voice.

 

Meet Kemi, our life coach, delivering real-world motivation in her weekly column, Endlessly Human. Follow her on Twitter @keminekvapil.

Image from Flickr.

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