• Former U.S. President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama. (Supplied)Source: Supplied
“That’s what dating is. You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship.”
SBS staff writers

9 Sep 2020 - 11:58 AM  UPDATED 9 Sep 2020 - 11:58 AM

Michelle Obama has offered dating advice and shared her secret to a strong marriage - don't use Tinder. 

The former first lady shared the relationship advice during a recent episode of her podcast where she interviewed American comedian Conan O'Brien on the hard work needed to find and keep a serious partnership or marriage alive. 

Michelle is married to former president Barack Obama - a much admired public partnership of 28 years. The pair share two daughters - Malia and Sasha. Obama said she constantly gets asked for relationship advice but said there was no 'magic trick', besides doing the work and practice of getting to know someone.

“There’s no magic way to make that happen, except getting the basics of finding somebody, being honest about wanting to be with them, to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment, to date them, seeing where it goes, and then making it happen. There’s work and practice that goes into it. I’m going to get off the apps, and I’m going to actually ask this girl out, and I’m going to take her out for a few months,” she said.

“That’s what dating is. You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship.”

The remark provoked discussion online with some twitterati saying they met the love of their lives on Tinder.

Before you disagree with the 56-year-old, online supporters of the former first lady said she might have been referring to hook-up culture generally, rather than the app itself, which may have facilitated plenty of marriages. 

Obama said the pair had weathered many ups and downs during their marriage and said people should look at dating like choosing a basketball team.

“You don’t want any weak links, you don’t want somebody that you can dominate, you don’t want somebody who’s kind of a loser, right. And also, if you’re on a team, you’ve got to be able to do everything, especially in basketball, it’s like, you would never pick somebody that says, I only dribble,” she said.

“This relationship can be one of the most foundational pieces of our identities, bringing us so much joy, meaning, and support every single day. But one thing is for sure: It also takes a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners,” she wrote in a Instagram post promoting the program.

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