When we published a satirical article calling out the gender wage gap in sport, we were gratified to find the heroic mansplainers of the internet had a neat solution to our thorny problem. It’s so smart ya’ll that only a man could have thought of it. Women play against men. If women survive, they get their hands on the extra cash.
Basically, women need to stop lazing about and expecting a handout. We have to get our oestrogen-filled babymakers out there and compete against the men, even though we’re weaker and not nearly as interesting to the spectators, if we are serious about equal pay for equal play. Anything less is just communism.
Our frail minds find the concept difficult to understand but it’s okay because here are some mans to ‘splain everything.
Segregation is the root cause of sexism. Feminists gonna be so mad they didn’t figure this out first.
The sexism banner, much like the woman’s card, is a sneaky device we women use to get our own way.
Logic should rule because 15 year old boys can run faster than… wait, what?
We have the sexism banner to hide behind but mansplainers have the trans trump card.
Once the Aussie sheilas have taken on the All Blacks, the chicks will be making more bank.
The evil feminist plot has finally been revealed: it’s communism we were after all along.
Don’t you love the absolute surety these smug dudes have when throwing down the challenge for women to compete against men? It’s deeply uncool to explain away societal gender parity issues with the old “look, men are just better, okay?” argument but no such qualms exist in the world of sporting mansplainers.
In sporting equality dialogue it’s fine for keyboard warriors to pitch a match between the ‘Aussie sheilas team’ and the New Zealand All Blacks, where they imagine strong men demolishing dainty women and the wage equality argument in one mighty blow. Sport remains one of the few places where men feel sure that their size, strength and dominance can be put forward as a valid reason for their superiority over women.
And did you notice that every single comment calls for women to play against men? Imagine the neo-Marxist socialist chaos if they played on the same team? It’s a shame this idea hasn’t got more support from the mansplainers because quite a few sports could benefit from a mixed-gender squad. It might be nice for the Boomers to play basketball with the Opals. They could find out what it feels like to win an Olympic medal.
Anyhoodle. We can rail against the injustice of the wage gap for women in sport, or we can pull up our britches and admit that the mansplaining army is right. When women drop our separatist agenda and play against men, equal pay will be ours for the taking. Just like it is in every other industry where women are doing the same job as men.