A specially trained squad of guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire from taking over the world.

2.5
From the mouths of babes...

This is a conversation between the critic and his two daughters, aged 9 and 4, following a screening of the film G-FORCE.

Critic: Ok, thoughts on the movie. What was your favourite part?

9 y.o: When she was getting dressed up like the little Barbie doll.

Critic: When the guinea pig was getting dressed up?

9 yo: Yeah. Then she (Penelope Cruz) was like 'My gosh, I look like Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua". (Laughs)

4 y.o.: I...I...I know what happened.... a hamster died.

Critic: Well, that all proved to be a bit of a red herring; not really true. Did you think the hamsters looked like hamsters? Were the special effects good?

4 y.o.: Yeah.

9 y.o.: Yeah. Actually, kinda yeah and kinda no. Because it kind of gave it away because they were talking.

Critic: ....uh...oh, ok....(pause)...so you believed the pictures but you didn’t believe the words?

9 y.o.: They should’ve just made one talk and then translate with sign language to the other guinea pigs.

Critic: (laughs) I don’t if that would’ve worked for the movie, honey, telling the story over and over again. What about the people actors in it?

9 y.o.: The people actors in it? Oh, yeah, they were good.

Critic: Ok. And the story? Did you follow the story?

9 y.o.: Oh, not really. But it was kinda funny.

Critic: Was there too many poo jokes?

9 y.o.: Mmmm...no.

Critic: So what else do you remember about it?

9 y.o.: It kind’ve got boring....you know when he was sad and stuff. They do that in every movie. Can’t we have something different? You know, like the hamster goes 'Ok, fine, I was born in a pet store and I can’t do all this (secret agent) stuff".

Critic: Mmmm...so you didn’t think the whole brother-hamster thing worked too well.

9 y.o.: Yeah, you know where the super-guinea pig found out he was born in the pet store? That was kinda boring.

4 y.o.: And, and, and...I know what happened...the hamster died.

Critic: Yeah....(to the 9 y.o.) and what did you think of the 3D?

9 y.o.: Yeah...it was alright....(pause)...

4 y.o.: Daddy, a hamster died!!

Critic: The one in the garbage truck? What did you think of the little mole guy (Nicholas Cage)?

9 y.o.: He was kinda scary. He was funny looking.

Critic: And what about the big Transformer-like thing at the end?

9 y.o.: I think it just as if they are stealing ideas from the Transformers!

Critic: Yeah, I think you might be right. It was made by the same....

9 y.o.: (Seeing a yellow car) SPOTTO!!!

4 y.o.: SPOTTO!!!

Critic: And did it have enough in there for girls or was it a bit of a boy’s movie?

9 y.o.: No, it had enough. Like when she (Penelope Cruz) was dressed up and she said 'I’m gonna keep this (earring)!". And I was just cracking up when the guy guinea pig (Tracey Morgan) had the piece of wood and they were trying to escape and he yelled 'Ok, let it rip!" and then BBBRRRR! [A spark is created to light a fat guinea pigs wind in order for the group to escape]. I loved that part.

Critic: Yeah, that was pretty funny....

9 y.o.: 'OK, LET IT RIP!!"

Critic: What about all that computer stuff? Was all that a bit confusing?

9 y.o.: Yeah, when the computer bits came on I was like 'Wha..?" I don’t understand that. I don’t even understand how any people could know that sort of stuff.

Critic: So what would you give it out of five, if five is really good and one is really bad?
9 y.o.: Umm....(long pause)....three.

Critic: I’m giving it two, so we’ll split the difference.

4 y.o.: I’m thirsty....


Details

In Cinemas 24 September 2009,

Genres