I codename the day I left for Vietnam, D Day, and the D stands for Dad. I know where the memory in my brain began, but I don't know how it will end.
When I met Dad, I remember, I was standing out the front of a green house in Bien Hoa, Vietnam, and all I could think about at that time was Eminem, because I had noticed that the name of Dad Street was D12 - that’s the name of Eminem’s band.
Everything that I had done till that moment, will it all be in vain? And if I was rejected as a son, would I have accepted it?
However the outcome, I swore to myself that I would return to Australia afterwards and accept it as fate, because when I cannot explain something, I just call it fate.
Dateline's Catherine Scott films as Joe meets his dad for the first time, accompanied by brother Jack.
Fear overwhelmed me, but it was not the same fear like a child fearing the dark, no, it was more like the fear of failing. I had sacrificed so much time and effort to get to this point that I didn't want to fail.
I felt like I was sitting for a uni exam and I had to pass it or else I couldn’t advance to the next semester, so I had to do this, all the answers to past and present were in this house in front of me.
The thought of being in the wrong place too also overwhelmed me but I'm good at holding back my emotions and I told myself to keep it together - you'll never know if you don't go in there.
I wanted to turn around, leave and never come back, but that would be the easy way out. I had a gut feeling that this was it, this was my moment, and I was right.
I walked in and my eyes started to wander the room, I was looking for anyone that looked, slightly looked like me and around the age of 60, and then I saw him, my dad. He doesn't look a thing like me, but I am certain that this man is my Dad.
I thought he would be taller, because back in Sydney, I am much taller than my mum and I was wondering if my height came from my dad, but no, dad's just about the same height as my mum. I thought Vietnamese women liked tall guys?
Dad offered me a cigar, and I accepted. Back in the 90s during my gang days, we would only smoke a cigar after we survived something dangerous, like after a gang fight or when we made some dirty money, but this was nothing like that.
Joe and his dad share a cigar and catch up on the years they've missed.
I smiled the whole time when I was with Dad, something I rarely did growing up, and I waited for Dad to teach me valuable lessons about life, within the short time we had together, like most Asian parents do back in Australia... he did!
I am now planning to return to Vietnam in future as an English teacher, this way I can make a living and at the same time spend more time with my Vietnam family. It’s ironic… my mother was also a school teacher in Vietnam before she escaped.
I always manage to somehow find happiness and make new friends everywhere I go, some people say it's just the way I am, a nice guy, but the truth is, I'm always happy because it's much easier to be happy.
Thank you for watching the show, I still can't believe we did it, we found Dad.
Thanks to EP Bernadine Lim, Journalist Catherine Scott, Producer Calli Weitenberg and everyone at Dateline. Y'all made this happen for me and I am forever thankful for the rest of my life forever mãi mãi.
Joe and his dad, Nguyen Tu Hoang Tuan, united at last.
Together we searched and found Dad. Vietnam Mission Accomplished.
See Joe's story in full above, and read the blog he wrote before his journey about the impact the Vietnam War had on him and his family as he was growing up.
After the story was broadcast Joe also posted this photo and update on Facebook about his mum...
"If you're wondering how my relationship with my Mum is these days. I was with Mum earlier today, and today marks 40 years after the end of the Vietnam War on 30 April 1975. Mum & I decided to share a coffee today. Mum now shares with me all her stories from the past and present. Love you Mum."
Joe and his mum in 2015.
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