Researchers at the University of Rochester have written a machine learning algorithm that can accurately predict when you're drunk tweeting. It is, essentially, a robotic narc.
Nabil Hossain and his team analyzed 11,000 geolocated tweets that mention drinking, and then asked Amazon Mechanical Turk workers to determine two things: if the tweets appeared to be sent while a person was drinking, and if the tweets were sent from the person's home. The resultant algorithm "reveals patterns of alcohol-related behavior in unprecedented detail," which means it can tell that you drank the whole bottle of wine while livetweeting the Bachelor finale.