• You deserve so much better than this low-life. (I love that term “low life”.) (Getty Images)
Here's how the 'real' Jenny would deal with a cheating boyfriend: break up with him ASAP and hope his mother cuts him out of the will.
By
Jenny Law

1 Jun 2017 - 10:05 AM  UPDATED 16 Jun 2017 - 10:27 AM

Warning: The following article contains explicit language which some readers might find offensive and/or is inappropriate for children.  


Dear Jenny,

I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Scratch that – I know he is. I was on his computer and his email was open and I accidentally saw an email from another guy (I’m a guy, if that’s relevant). Long story short I found a whole bunch of emails between them that were DEFINITELY NOT OKAY. In fact, he was totally messaging this guy when WE WERE ON A ROMANTIC WEEKEND TOGETHER. What’s more is I KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS AND HE IS A TOTAL WANKER. I don’t know if I’m more mad because I’ve been cheated on or because it was with a massive douchebag. What should I do now? 

JENNY SAYS: 

Oh, leave this biggest dickhead now. Actually, I hope that before you read my advice you’ve already left him, this "low-life cheater". I feel really sorry for you – he didn’t respect you AT ALL. He openly cheated on you, even on a romantic weekend.  Jenny is angry for you! If it happened to me I think I would chop off his penis. (“Dick" or “penis"? I like the word "penis”.) I shouldn’t give violent advice like that as a mother, but I can’t help it. 

That’s horrible that he left his email open too. Did he do it purposefully to make you look? On the other hand, if you invaded his privacy, is that wrong? Either way, the relationship is not healthy. 

So, capital letters – DO NOT EVER GO BACK TO THIS SUPER “DOUCHEBAG”. Sometimes people get too emotionally attached to someone and you’re tempted to go back to that person. I don’t know how many years you’ve been together, but sometimes there’s that emotional weakness there.

If one of my children was in your position, I’d give them the same advice: leave that person straight away. You deserve so much better than this low-life. (I love that term “low life”.) And if I found out one of my children was cheating on their partner like this, I would cut them out of the will overnight. Or I’d get a DNA test – they might not be my kid at all! Because that is not how I raised my children.

The Family Law airs on SBS every Thursday night at 8:30pm. New episodes and the entire first season are streaming now via SBS On Demand:

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