• A lot of people rush back into dating – our human weakness is sexual attraction – but you don’t know what’s inside their head and inside their personality. (Uppercut RF/Getty)
The post-divorce dating game is a minefield, says the 'real' Jenny. Take it slow or you could end up with a dependent old man, a psycho or even an STD.
By
Jenny Law

23 May 2017 - 11:50 AM  UPDATED 16 Jun 2017 - 10:29 AM

Dear Jenny,

I got through a messy divorce last year and I think I’m ready to take the plunge back into dating. What are your tips for being divorced and single when it comes to meeting people?

JENNY SAYS:

First, I have to congratulate you – only last year you got your messy divorce? It’s so brave to go out already and date again already! Good for you.

After my divorce, going back into dating wasn’t for me. When I divorced, I was only quite young – 40 – and I thought about dating. It crossed my mind. And when you’re lonely and there’s no one there to talk to, of course you’d like someone there. But when you’re in a relationship, you need to compromise. And as I get older … I don’t want to compromise! I want my freedom! Hahahahaha.

Scientific proof: men die before women.

Jenny is too busy wiping my own shithole to have to wipe someone else’s. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life taking care of some old man. I was happy to look after children, because that’s my responsibility as a mother, but why would I choose to have that with a man? I’m turning 63 this year. So naturally I would become that man’s carer, and if I didn’t look after that man well enough, that man’s adult children will come and shoot me.

The worst part would be the man dying on top of me during sex. And I don’t want to be on top all the time. So boring, same position.

It’s up to the individual personality. Some people constantly have to have a partner, but I can live without one. And I don’t want to date someone my age or older. The worst part would be the man dying on top of me during sex. And I don’t want to be on top all the time. So boring, same position.

For a divorced person, you’ve probably been through trauma. If your other half cheated on you, that would be traumatic, and you’d have a lack of confidence: why did that person cheat on me? Your confidence will be bruised. So make sure you’re comfortable with everything.

Ask yourself what you’re most comfortable with: going online, dinner for six, Tinder. I think it’s very important. Present yourself nicely if you actually have a date! Dress yourself smart and yummily! (Is that a word?) Be confident. The “first impression” is very important.

You need to live with them – of course, not too soon, when you’re ready – to understand what they’re really like.

Don’t rush. A lot of people rush – our human weakness is sexual attraction – but you don’t know what’s inside their head and inside their personality; what they’re like at home. You need to live with them – of course, not too soon, when you’re ready – to understand what they’re really like.

Beware of psychos. Be alert. Don’t jump into anything. And I don’t know how old you are, but take precautions. You don’t want any STDs – sex diseases. If you’re past menopause you don’t need to worry about being pregnant, but STDs? Ew.


The Family Law airs on SBS every Thursday night at 8:30pm. New episodes and the entire first season are streaming now via SBS On Demand:

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