Are you currently stuck in quicksand? Here are some tips!

Yes, being trapped in quicksand can be deadly, but it can also be an arousing adventure!

A fetish film featuring Hollywood’s most erotic star: quicksand. Source: SBS

Being stuck in a pit of damp sand risking imminent asphyxiation may not be everyone’s idea of a swell time, but for some this scenario is not only appealing, it is also wildly arousing. In Hollywood’s Quicksand Fetish, host Jedd Thomas explores the unexpectedly erotic side of quicksand, interviewing filmmakers, actors and enthusiasts who share a sexual fetish for one of Hollywood’s most beloved tropes.

But whether you find it arousing or terrifying, being stuck in quicksand can have potentially serious side effects such as getting your clothes dirty and also death. If you are currently stuck in quicksand and this has come as an unwelcome surprise rather than something done deliberately for pleasure, here are some handy tips...

Stand up and walk out

Source: Giphy

After watching the clip above, it is sickening to think how many fine adventurers we have lost to quicksand due to the little known escape tactic of just standing up and walking out of it.

Inspect your surrounds – you may not be stuck in quicksand at all!

If you are engulfed by a wet, sinking, sand-like substance, you are probably stuck in quicksand. If you see nothing but desks and office supplies, you are probably at work with little to worry about other than the mounting loss of your youth and whatever psychological condition caused you to believe you were surrounded by sand.

Grab the nearest snake

Source: Giphy

Ironically, many people who have watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have found themselves wishing for death rather than trying to avoid it. Still, a snake used as a substitute for rope can be your quicksand salvation if you want to survive.

If this happened at work, express your concerns to those clowns in HR

I’m going to have a serious word to Graeme in HR about these working conditions! Source: SBS

Depending on your job, finding yourself sinking in quicksand is bound to breach numerous workplace safety regulations. Time is of the essence, but if your phone is handy, telling those jokers in HR that quicksand is not acceptable in the workplace is bound to lift your spirits.

Get your camera out and start filming

The quicksand fetish community is a market willing to pay good money for quality footage. You may prefer to focus on surviving, but if you are able to film your situation, you might find yourself with some new fans and a neat way of making extra cash.

Stop reading this

If you are currently in quicksand, taking the time to read an article may not be the greatest use of your time. This is especially the case with this particular article, which stopped being helpful to your cause a long time ago and arguably never really began doing so.

I can’t help but feel some of this advice is not useful. Source: SBS

Hollywood’s Quicksand Fetish provides an insight into a world that few know exists, with the usage of quicksand lauded as an art form enjoyed by passionately devoted fans. Accordingly, if you are currently stuck in quicksand, the best thing to do may well be to strap in and enjoy yourself! It might seem unusual at first, but if you open your mind to new ideas, you may find a potentially life threatening situation is now your new favourite erotic hobby.

 

Stream Hollywood’s Quicksand Fetish now at SBS On Demand: