• The skaters pair off and cuff up for a day tasked with oddball challenges. (SBS)Source: SBS
Hypnotising poultry, bar-hopping with pubic hair moustaches, alcohol enemas that lead to marriage proposals... nothing’s off limits on 'King of the Road' (SBS Viceland).
By
Jim Mitchell

21 Aug 2018 - 1:56 PM  UPDATED 21 Aug 2018 - 3:33 PM

King Of The Road is a cross-country skateboarding/scavenger hunt odyssey, which asks its participants to undertake a number of "oddball challenges" (as opposed to skateboarding ones) that have been designed to strip them of their dignity, assuming they had any going in. (Big assumption.)

If they stand any chance of being declared the undisputed 'King of the Road', these guys have to be up for anything. And we do mean anything. Like what, you ask? 

Hypnotising a chicken and hugging a giant rooster

A season one challenge features a visit to skating legend Jason Jessee’s property, where the man hypnotises chickens. You heard me. He does so by moving his finger in a circular motion above the eye so that the chook immediately closes its eyes and goes under. 

Daniel Lutheran of team Toy Machine completes the task pretty much with aplomb treating the slumbering bird as Jessee suggested, gently, like a sandwich (?). But there's a catch – he has to lift the chicken and place it on the back of a giant stuffed rooster while it's still hypnotised, for bonus points.

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Skating naked, lathered in shaving cream

The King of the Road gang loves to get naked and spray on the shaving cream – so much shaving cream. When you combine the already difficult skate challenges on the show with the slippery foamy stuff and nakedness, it’s no small feat for the skaters to see it through.

Here’s how a season three scene unfolds: a naked skater, covered in foam, splatter glides down a jagged rail as similarly starkers foam-splattered skaters watch on, and a cameraman crouches nearby, also buck naked and foam splattered (natch). Just another night on the road for the skaters.

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Completing challenges in handcuffs, and with gnarly fungus 

It what seems an invitation for serious wrist sprains, the boys are paired up to be handcuffed for 24 hours to complete mad skating tricks.

But it's the logistical stuff of everyday life that seems most startling to them. Will they still be able to roll a joint? Has their partner already copped a squat today? How do you shower when one skater has gnarly fungus?

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Alcohol enemas, more nakedness, and a marriage proposal

In an episode from season two, a brave pro skater has a funnel administered into his posterior for what is called an “alcohol enema’ while, of course, a naked skater covered in shaving cream flies above. It's like some kinky skater ritual meets True Detective-meets-Cool Runnings-meets-Eyes Wide Shut.

But then, as if things can't get any weirder, Gravette apologises to his girlfriend for taking part in the debauchery, and promptly goes down on bended knee to propose. Says one bemused onlooker: “You rarely hear the words ‘butt chug’ and ‘will you marry me’ in the same setting.”

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Drinking urine, under the watchful eye of a 'pee judge'

“You guys ever drink your own pee before?” King of the Road veteran Andy Roy asks the skaters, and hands over the plastic champagne flutes, to keep it classy. 

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DIY moustaches comprised of pubic hair

The skaters are asked to fashion a disguise. They clip their pubic hair, glue it to their upper lips and try to get past a bouncer. Poor young Enzo Cautela doesn’t make it – because he very much looks like a teenager who glued pubic hair on his upper lip to look older.

This was definitely one of the more bizarre things we’ve seen on King of the Road, and that’s saying something.

Watch the episode:

 

King of the Road season 3 airs Fridays at 10:30pm on SBS VICELAND. Catch up on past seasons of the series at SBS On Demand: