Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s triumphant return for its sixth season has garnered a lot of excitement from a fan base that rivals those obsessed with Star Wars.
If you haven’t watched it, then don’t fear because it’s never too late to dive into the pool of joy that is this sharply written cop-comedy.
All you need to know is some of the Nine-Nine’s best ongoing gags...
“Name of your sex tape”
“Name of your sex tape” is this decade’s “that’s what she said”, but better. Detective Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) never misses an opportunity to take something perfectly innocent that Detective Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero) says and turn it into the title of a sex tape:
Amy: I’ll get my stuff, but this better not bite me in the ass.
Jake: This Better Not Bite Me in the Ass, name of your sex tape.
Amy: It’s not your fault, I was terrible.
Jake: It’s Not Your Fault, I Was Terrible is also one of your sex tapes.
Terry talking in the third person
Sergeant Terry Jeffords (Terry Crews) is a unicorn of a human being – smart, loving, patient, strong and always open with how he’s feeling. Terry is also confident enough to talk about himself in the third person. He’s not afraid to say that “Terry loves love”, “Terry loves lavender”, “Terry loves foreign films” and “Terry’s got butt for days”. And, of course, “Terry loves responsible agricultural practices”.
Holt’s indecipherable face
Captain Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher) is often the only real adult at the Nine-Nine, to the point it’s difficult to imagine that he was ever an actual child. This ultra-controlled, ultra-appropriate style is part of Captain Holt’s personality, including his face. It never changes, whether he’s happy, sad or furious. The detectives are constantly trying to figure out how their captain is feeling, and it isn’t helped when Captain Holt insists the answer is all over his face.
The Halloween heist!
The Simpsons has the annual Treehouse of Terror Halloween episodes, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine has the Halloween Heist. Introduced in season one, the Heist is the increasingly elaborate game played between Jake and Captain Holt to find out who is The Ultimate Detective/Genius – it’s involved a party bus, a car being crushed, a Detective Charles Boyle look-alike, a trained corgi, dozens of pizza delivery people and tricking Terry into swallowing six GPSs.
“Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool”
If you thought that only Abed from the legendary Community owned the phrase “cool”, then you need to hear Jake’s take. It’s his natural response to something that’s usually the opposite of cool.
When he goes undercover to catch a drug manufacturer and he’s not getting anywhere – “cool cool cool”. When Jake realises that gun sellers will be happily bribed into selling buckets of bullets – “cool cool cool”. And when he’s told that having the mumps means that he should expect “extreme testicular pain” – “cool cool cool”.
Captain Holt’s disdain for food
Along with his indecipherable facial expressions, Captain Holt is also known for his love of the most boring and flavourless food possible. The complete opposite of Boyle and his fancy taste buds, Captain Holt is a connoisseur of room temperature water, hard-boiled egg yolks, plain toast, oatmeal and beans, which he appreciates for their long shelf life and lack of flavour. If he had his way, his diet would consist of “flavourless beige smoothies containing all the nutrients required by the human animal”.
Boyle’s sexual double entendres
Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio) is many things – dedicated detective, overly eager best friend to Jake and a gourmet foodie whose exotic tastes go well beyond eccentric. But the one thing that trumps all of that is Boyle’s constant failure to realise when he’s being unintentionally sexually suggestive. Whenever Boyle opens his mouth, there’s a risk that something... awkward and uncomfortable-sounding will come out. Case in point: when he tries to give precinct admin Gina a nickname, he calls her ‘G-Spot’. Or the time that he was discussing his plans to have sex soon after attending a funeral and declared, “Charles Boyle’s going to that funeral and he’s going to put the bone back in boneyard!”
“Terry loves yoghurt”
Rachel and Ross, Fran Fine and Mr Sheffield, Buffy and Angel: there have been dozens of iconic duos on television, but none have quite the same passion for each other as Terry has for yoghurt. Terry’s incredible muscles tend to have their own storylines, and Terry makes it clear that his strict diet and exercise routine is the secret behind his buff bod.
But he has one weakness, and that’s yoghurt. He’s cried, yelled and thrown furniture whenever his beloved yoghurt has gone missing. And if his full-fat and honey Greek yogurt is taken? Watch out, because Terry loves yoghurt.
Scully and Hitchcock’s butts
If characters could be furniture, detectives Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller) and Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker) would be the trusty living room couch. And that’s exactly where they prefer to be, although any chair is a suitable alternative.
Hitchcock and Sully’s dislike for standing or walking is the, er, butt of jokes throughout Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but the twosome got their revenge in season five when they challenged Detective Rosa Diaz (Stephanie Beatriz) to see how long she could sit on her butt without getting sick of it. Turns out, sitting on your butt is hard work, and nobody works harder than Hitchcock and Scully.
Jake’s obsession with the 1991 Bruce Willis classic is threaded into multiple episodes. It’s a toss-up whether Jake says “cool, cool, cool” or refers to Die Hard lines more, but it’s clear that his obsession with “the best cop movie of all time” is pure and unfailing.
Over the past five seasons it’s been revealed that Jake has travelled to Canada to purchase another copy of Die Hard on DVD because it *may* have better sound quality. He also geeked out when he stumbled across Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles – the setting of the first Die Hard – and a replica of which Amy organised to be their wedding cake.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs on Friday nights at 8.35pm on SBS VICELAND, and after broadcast at SBS On Demand. Catch up on the last episode: