Before we get started, it’s important to note that as a woman raised at the height of Kirsten Dunst’s reign as box office Teen Queen, I am: extremely biased. On Twitter, I frequently refer to her as “my mom” -- a way superfans refer to their favourite celebrities –- in order to emphasise the level of love, personal connection and impact that their fave has had on them. Luckily, I also have this gif, which comes in handy at least once a month, pretty much whenever Kirsten does anything iconic.
She’s walking a red carpet? “That’s my mom!” I post, a proud daughter. She’s getting a salad? Iconic. That’s my mom. Everything she does is perfect and if she ever got cancelled I’d have to take a mental health day. So, look. Yes. The bias I have is real, and I also recognise that you actually can’t give Oscars for some of the things I’m about to list, but you know what? That’s irrelevant and they should change the Academy’s rules. Here we go.
For the delivery of “buh-bye” in Bring It On
This is nothing short of perfection and it’s an absolute travesty she wasn’t awarded Best Actress in a Leading Role for this. Julia Roberts won that year, for Erin Brockovich. Was that as good a film as Bring It On? No. Moving on.
For the gifset of her reacting to Lars Von Trier losing his entire mind at Cannes
Every single “oh my God, what is happening right now, where is my publicist, who can get me off this stage, can the floor open up and swallow me whole” expression on poor Kiki’s face is perfection. Will I ever forgive Lars Von Trier for ruining her chances at an actual Oscar campaign? No, I will not. So I will award her one in my heart for having to say goodbye to her chances in front of a room full of press.
For her portrayal of teenage bubbliness in Dick
Until Booksmart’s release earlier this year, I hadn’t seen another film that so perfectly captured the dynamic between teenage best friends since Dick, that’s how high Kiki and Michelle set the bar.
When she cried at Cannes at the premiere of The Beguiled
I don’t know why she was crying, but if and when I find out, that person is TOAST. Give my mother an Oscar!
This terrible Spiderman gif
Look. It wasn’t HER fault that the fake Spiderman looked fake, or that the wind machine operators couldn’t sort it out, is all I’m saying. Look at Kiki! She’s doing the best she could under the circumstances. Oscar-worthy.
When she ate salad with then BF, Jake Gyllenhaal
I genuinely think about these pictures once a month. You know what that is? Impact. Give her an Oscar!
The short film, Aspirational
Cancelled Instagram culture, dragged us all to hell. The talent! Oscar-worthy.
When she was Darren Hayes’ love interest in the music video for “I Knew I Loved You”
More emotional than every single romance film ever (except maybe Titanic)!
When she sang in Get Over It
Okay, hear me out: This is better than every song from A Star Is Born and Kirsten should’ve won Best Original Song. Number of times I’ve listened to the ASIB soundtrack: Zero. The number of times I’ve listened to the audio rip of “Dream of Me” that I downloaded from Limewire in the early 2000s? Too many to count! Talent outsold. It’s also superior to every song from La La Land. No questions at this time.
Literally all of On Becoming A God In Central Florida
I mean, it’s Kiki at her best. She gets to be funny and furious and devious and wild; it’s pure perfection.
Anyway, I think you get the point. Give Kiki an Oscar, it’s what she deserves.
On Becoming a God in Central Florida starts on Thursday, 21 November at SBS On Demand, and on SBS with a special double episode at 8:30pm. Remaining episodes will air at 9:30pm weekly.