“I am OK, I feel much better, thanks to my therapist who I still see,” says Mazen (not his real name), who says he suffered for years from anxiety and depression.
Growing up in Lebanon, the 26-year-old says he knew he was different.
“I spent much of my childhood playing with girls,” says Mazen who also adds that he was bullied at school for not being masculine enough. He says his family didn’t pay much attention to his tense relationship with his peers.
“I was rejected completely and violently."
Mazen says knew he was gay at the age of 15, but he knew it wouldn’t be easy to come out.
In a conservative environment, he says, there is a fear of bringing shame to your family name. He also feared his father.
Three years later his family knew, and they began a series of what Mazen describes as ‘intense correctional measures’.
“I was rejected completely and violently,” Mazen remembered.
As he grew up, his fear, anxiety and depression grew with him. At the age of 22 he moved to Australia.
“My family knew that being gay in Australia is much more acceptable, they were afraid of the life I could lead here so they arranged a marriage for me here,” Mazen said.
“I found myself in a situation where I had to lie to my family, myself and my wife". Mazen says he never shared a bed with his wife. “I started to get paranoid; I felt everyone is pressuring me and I didn’t have anyone to talk to.”
“The first thing my family said when they knew I would see a therapist was ‘don’t tell anyone’.”
The marriage didn’t survive. “I hit rock bottom, I fell into depression and isolated myself from everyone. The anxiety grew and intensified and I started having suicidal thoughts.”
“At one point,” he says “I started having heart pain, I went to doctors to get it checked.” His lab results were all fine. The doctors referred him to a psychologist.
“The first thing my family said when they knew I would see a therapist was ‘don’t tell anyone’.”
“My life changed in six weeks"
Mazen recalls how his family feared the stigma surrounding seeking psychological help. But his family position changed, he says, after they saw the results.
“My life changed in six weeks".
“Before I would call six people if I wanted to change a flat tyre, I couldn’t take a decision, I couldn’t run my life”.
Since then, he says he has cultivated a constructive relationship with his family. He came out to one of his two sisters “she was extremely accepting and supporting.”
“All I do is breathe differently,” Mazen laughs.
“I am more confident and I am still learning how to take back control of my life.”
R U OK Day is marked on the second Thursday of September. The aim is to remind people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, "R U OK?", in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference to anyone who might be struggling.
Psychologist Hend Saab says that in most cases there are signs of the psychological struggle someone going through.
Source: ruokday Facebook
“You can see changes,” she says.
“Becoming anti-social, isolation and not participating. People can be mentally absent even if they are physically present. The dramatic shifts in food and sleep pattern. The lack of concentration.”
R U OK day was initiated in 2009 by Gavin Larkin whose father committed suicide. He founded the organization to support other families and spare them the pain that he and his family had to endure.
However, seeking help isn’t always as simple as it may sound.
