In this interview Ibrahim spoke about his frustration and lack of understanding in his own community. He felt alienated and sad. However he said that it is comforting to find new and supportive friends in other circles of life.
Here is the transcription of the interview:
Ibrahim: I feel I am an Arab, but the problem is that the society I belong to does not consider me anything because I am gay. They make me feel as if I am not a human being, because in the Arab history this is considered a sin and they say “you’ll go to hell”.
They don’t accept you in anything, and you’re not accepted in anything in society, you feel lost, especially I am a person who likes the Arab culture. This is causing me a psychological complex, because I am torn between having to show one face to your family, which is not your true face, and you can’t distinguish between the two, so you become lost and confused in terms of who you are as a human.
Presenter: as if you are living two lives, there are two facets to everything, isn’t?
Ibrahim: yes for sure, for sure.
Presenter: you said you don’t feel they treat you as a human being, what are some examples, when did you feel they are humiliating you perhaps? They putting you down?
Ibrahim: yes, all the time, for sure, and I can’t be anything, I can’t get any respect, and I don’t get appreciated for who I am, for my humanity, you feel no one is going to accept you. If I come out they’ll reject me, I feel that I am nothing in the Arab society. I feel we are bringing back old history, from 500, ,600 years ago, since our ancestors the ideas are still the same. This limits us as new generation in the Arab society.
Presenter: perhaps these old ideas are based on religious teachings, whether Christian or Muslim …
Ibrahim: I am Christian, but be it Christian or Muslim, being gay is the same, the same society, religion does not matter.
What affects me most is when they say “I am not good”, but what do they offer me in return? No one is going to offer me anything. Just “be quiet and shut up and you can’t do this thing”, and that’s it.
Presenter: so Ibrahim what do you say to the parents who have kids who are homosexuals?
Ibrahim: in my opinion, the thing they need to overcome is the what we call ‘shame’. This shame that affects the person so much, it affects his brain, his humanity, and if he wants to be with a person, it affects the relationship, yet he can’t be alone and lead a happy life alone. Parents need to stand beside their children, and love them, love helps the most, if they reject them, they are rejecting a human being who is part of them.
Presenter: are you happy?, you mentioned that the feeling of shame prevents people from being happy, how do you feel, especially since you said you want to stay within the Arab society which you love but where you maybe be rejected.
Ibrahim: for sure, for sure, I found solution for myself, I am building new friendships, new life, outside that of my parents, of the old generation, so I can advance myself and be different. I went through a lot, I was scared, I had to do what’s called ‘recovery’ where I learned about myself, to understand myself, so I can get over it.
Presenter: you know people in our society, they see the young man and ask him: so when are you going to get married? They always mention marriage, how do you respond to that usually?
Ibrahim: this affects me a lot, because I can’t respond to that, and not only that, they ask you when? And if you have anyone in your life. Especially the old generation.
Presenter: how do all these pressure impact on the gay person? Will that result in tendencies for self-harm, suicide?
Ibrahim: yes for sure, for sure and I know of a person who experienced that, you have to be strong mentally to overcome that.
Presenter: some people may say: being gay is not normal. Relationships between a man and a woman is what’s normal, ant the homosexuals need to seek ‘treatment or cure’ to see if they can change for example, what do you say to people who have this opinion?
Ibrahim: what I say is that they can’t get treatment, because it’s like if a man loves a woman he can’t go and love a man, he can’t.
Presenter: so this is normal.
Ibrahim: it is normal in the person, yes.
What I would like to say here is the person won’t find himself in the Arab society, especially here in Australia. He should seek recovery to understand and empower himself because in the Arab society, you will hit the wall, you won’t find anyone who encourages you and understands you.
Presenter: so you have to go to the wider society for support and understanding.
Ibrahim: yes yes, you’ll find more support and they help you to overcome the feeling of shame which is so prevalent in the Arab society.
