“One of my cousins confronted me that I’m a disgrace to the family. I was very down at that time and very depressed and it ended up [with me] committing suicide,” shared Miss Transsexual Australia 2016 and the representative of Australia for Miss Trans Star International 2017, Andrea Jaca-Smith.
Like many other rainbow young people today who feel isolated and afraid to come out of the closet because of the shame associated with bullying and harassment, Andrea’s story of her young self resonates with them. But she is also a living proof that it can be surpassed and it can be used as a motivation to succeed.
Andrea was in primary school when she tried committing suicide out of being shamed by her cousin. The attempt failed. And from then she learned to be herself, be who she is and fight for what is right.
It was when she was 6 years old that she noticed something was wrong with her body. She loved to play with dolls and also with girls. Andrea’s revelation about her gender identity to her nuclear family came with ease. No words were spoken. Her mum and sister sensed that her difference was special. They ‘normalized’ the journey Andrea went through. Her mum would listen to the ‘girl stuff’ she shared and her sister would enjoy dressing her up.
This cheerful transwoman shared to SBS Filipino one side of her we haven’t heard yet, her teenage life. She was part of the school cadet in high school. One of her fondest memories was being commanded by one of the cadet officers to hold on to a tree branch for almost half an hour to train her to become a macho. Though she had difficulty stuck in the conflict of being a female internally and acting like a male externally, she just used it as a motivation to do well.
When asked about how she dealt with expressing her feelings to boys whom she liked, she told SBS Filipino she was very vocal about it. They, however, had only taken it as a joke or that she was being friendly.
Those were the days when Andrea was a teen like any one of us - only that she thought she was in a wrong body - but the experience of good friendship, first love and motivating the self to be better were there, regardless of one’s gender identity. How can she any more be different from the rest of us then? How would the rainbow young people be different as well today?
“The best thing about being young is enjoying the youthfulness you have and imparting it to the people who love you,” said Andrea regarding her thoughts about being young and being part of the LGBTIQ+ community.
[Editor’s Note: Wear it Purple Day is celebrated every last Friday of August. It was established to show young people belonging to the LGBTIQ+ community around the world that there is hope, that there are people who support them and that they have to take pride in who they are.]
