Highlights
- Ghosting is the millennial way of breaking up.
- Ghosting can leave some emotional trauma.
- Watch out for ghosting red flags.
One of the most heartbreaking experiences of this age is being ghosted.
Ghosting is the term used when someone you care about suddenly breaks off any contact from you without any warning.
In this episode of SBS Filipino’s love down under, Filipina nurse Julia (not her real name) shares she was ghosted by a Greek man she dated for six months.
The abandonment left her to doubt her self-worth.
Julia shares that she met Gerald (not his real name) during a Valentine’s dinner in 2014. Not long, the two became cozy and started to go out more frequently.
When they were in the dating label, Julia started opening up her life by sharing her thoughts and struggles.
“I told him my struggles. I opened up my struggle about applying my permanent residency but I really don’t know what he was thinking when I was telling him my struggles.”
She says looking back she felt like she was tested by Gerald and maybe thought she was a gold digger.
“I don’t know what went wrong. Maybe he thought I just wanted to be with him because he could be an advantage to my PR.”
She shares she didn’t see Gerald as a ticket to her visa woes but she was genuinely happy being with him that's why she was sharing her struggles.
Gone after 6 months
The two were planning to meet up when Gerald suddenly cancelled their plan.
She texted her that he wont be able to drive his car due to a backache.
“That was his last text. I never heard from him again. I felt like there was a wall between us. He disappeared on Facebook. I can’t even search him.”
Although she attempted to look for him, she realised she didn’t want to be pushy.
“I really didn’t know what I’ve done wrong. I was very sad for about two months after he disappeared.”
“I realised I didn’t come to Australia for love. I came here to fulfill my dreams. I should be focusing on improving myself so I shifted back to myself.”
Watch out for red flags
Julia warns that ghosting can happen to anyone that’s why it’s important to watch out for red flags.
“It takes awhile for him to reply, he does not seem present during our conversations, and he cancel plans then suddenly disappears.”
Lessons
Julia shares that although she was emotionally traumatised by Gerald’s ghosting, she learnt important lessons from her experience.
“These people are ghosting us for a good reason. We are being led to someone better. If someone leaves us, someone better is coming."
Julia is now happily married after her traumatic ghosting experience.
'Love down under' is SBS Filipino's podcast series which features love, relationship and family stories.
