“Guys I knew or had dated were marrying someone of the opposite sex, fuelling up on drug-induced sex orgies, or selling themselves on Grindr to find validation whilst suffocating with shame. The guilt and shame of being gay and South Asian,” says 30-year-old Manjinder Singh Sidhu.
It was the societal pressure and the need to conform. He turned to spirituality for solace.
“After a yoga teacher’s course, life coaching certificates and many gruelling silent meditation retreats later I felt like myself again”, he says.
That’s when he decided to write his book ‘Bollywood Gay’ which was launched at the House of Lords, London in February this year.
But coming from a Sikh family, life hasn’t been easy for Maninder. He said his own family threatened him.
Mr Sidhu, after years’ struggle to get his family to accept his sexuality, has produced several videos including one with his mother to help other families going through similar experiences.
He said he faced discrimination at the hands of his own cousins after he decided to be open about him being gay.
“People would write stuff like- no batty men allowed, no gay boys allowed to the party or birthday,” said Mr Sidhu.
He said when he confronted them, he was threatened that they were going to beat him.
Mr Singh said his family and relatives were concerned about the honour of the girls in their family.
“The fear had always been let the daughters get married- from my parents- and then you can do your activism,” he said.
“They were like, we are going to ruin their marriage. We are going to ruin their engagement and prevent any good happening.”
Mr Sidhu lives with his parents in Birmingham who have now accepted his homosexuality.
He says his book is “a revolutionary, fiery and necessary bible for those wanting an authentic life”
He says it aims to remove self-victimisation and external blame so that gay people can reclaim their inner self.
