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This lesson is suitable for intermediate-level learners. After listening, test your knowledge with our quiz.
Learning notes:
Examples of phrases you can use when talking about looking after your parents:
- I’ve been checking in on my parents a lot lately.
- Sometimes it feels like I’m stretched a bit too thin.
- I’m worried about my parents overseas.
- It’s hard not being there for them.
- I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.
- I call them all the time just to see how they’re going.
- I’ve been calling them more often lately.
- I try to see them whenever I can.
- I just check in on them to see how they’re doing.
- I’m always running errands for my parents. It all adds up.
- Maybe it’s time to bite the bullet and ask your siblings to pitch in.
- We all pitched in to clean the house for my parents.
- If everyone pitches in, it won’t be hard to look after Mum and Dad.
Colloquial expressions:
To check in on someone means to contact or visit them to make sure they are okay.
I hear you... means I agree with you, usually about something the other person is complaining about.
If you are stretched thin, you have too many responsibilities and not enough time or energy to give them the attention they deserve.
To be there for someone means to support someone, especially when they need help.
To run errands is to do small, everyday tasks like shopping, picking things up, or going to appointments.
It all adds up is something we can say when a lot of small tasks build up to have a big impact on your life.
To bite the bullet means to do something difficult or uncomfortable that you’ve been avoiding.
To pitch in means to help, especially when other are also helping.
To looking after someone/something is to take care of them to make sure they are safe and healthy and have what they need.
Vocabulary:
Errands are small tasks you need to do outside the house.
Siblings are brothers and sisters.
Learning Focus:
English has a lot of different tenses that we use to be quite precise about when we do things. Notice how Allan uses the present perfect continuous (I + have + been + Verb+ing) when he says:
Allan: I’ve been checking in on my parents a lot lately (I+have+been+checking)
He chose this tense because he started doing the checking in the past (so he chose the present perfect), but he also wanted to stress that he is still doing it now and that this cheking is very much a continuous process for him (so he chose the present perfect continuous). We often use it with words like ‘lately’ or ‘recently’ for emphasis.
Transcript:
(Note: This is not a word-for-word transcript)
SBS acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country and their connections and continuous care for the skies, lands, and waterways throughout Australia.
Your parents are coming to an age when they need a little more help...maybe it’s booking doctor’s appointment, picking up groceries, or just making sure everything at home is clean and tidy.
Or maybe your parents live overseas, and you feel guilty for not being there for them. So, you call more often, worry across time zones, and wonder if you’re doing enough.
Hi, I’m Kate, and in this episode, we’re practising everyday English we can use when talking about our aging parents.
First, we’ll listen to Allan and Claire to see how they talk about the challenges that come with looking after older family members.
Allan:
I’ve been checking in on my parents a lot lately. Sometimes it feels like I’m stretched a bit too thin.
Claire:
I hear you...I’m worried about my parents too. They’re overseas and it’s hard not being there for them.
Allan:
Yeah, that must be tough.
Claire:
It is. I call them all the time just to see how they’re going...but there’s not much I can actually do.
Allan:
Yeah, I’m always running errands for mine...doctor’s appointments, groceries, stuff like that. It all adds up.
Claire:
Maybe it’s time to bite the bullet and ask your siblings to pitch in a bit.
Like Allan and Claire, when my parents need more help, I try to check in more often and see what they need. These are real-life situations, so I’m keen to learn these phrases. First, Allan said,
I’ve been checking in on my parents a lot lately.
To check in on someone means to contact them or visit them to make sure they’re okay. You might call, send a message, or stop by their house. If you have been telephoning them you could also say,
- I’ve been calling them more often lately.
Or if you are visiting more frequently you can say,
- I try to see them whenever I can.
Allan also said,
Sometimes it feels like I’m stretched a little bit too thin.
If you’re stretched thin, you have too many responsibilities and not enough time or energy for them all, and this can make you feel tired or overwhelmed. You could also say,
- I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.
You can use both of these phrases when you have got a lot of things to do at the same time, whether you’re talking about work, family, or helping your parents.
Claire’s situation is a bit different. Her parents don’t live close to her, so she worries about other things. She said,
It’s hard not being there for them.
To be there for someone means to support them, especially when they need help. In Claire’s case, she feels bad because she can’t be physically present. She also said,
I call them all the time just to see how they’re going.
To see how someone is going is a very common, informal way to ask how someone is doing. You could also say,
- I just check in on how they’re doing.
Then we heard Allan explaining what he does to help his parents,
I’m always running errands for mine...doctor’s appointments, groceries, stuff like that. It all adds up.
Allan is always running errands, that is, he does small, everyday tasks like shopping, going to appointments, or picking things up. These tasks might seem small and simple, but taken together, as Allan said,
It all adds up.
Even small tasks can take a lot of time and energy when you do a lot of them often.
You can use this expression in lots of everyday situations. For example, although a coffee doesn't cost much, it all really adds up when you buy one everyday - I need to stick to my budget. Look at me, using a phrase I’ve learned in our previous episode.
So, whenever small things build into a bigger effect, money, work or effort, you can say it adds up.
Finally Claire suggested that Allan asks his siblings, that’s his brother and sister, to share the responsibility. She said,
Maybe it’s time to bite the bullet and ask your siblings to pitch in a bit.
To bite the bullet means to do something difficult or uncomfortable that you’ve been avoiding. You can use this phrase when you have finally decided to face a difficult problem that you don’t want to face. For example, I’ve been putting off going to the dentist, but now I need to bite the bullet because my tooth hurts.
Claire also said,
Ask your siblings to pitch in a bit.
To pitch in means to help, especially when others are also doing that same thing. For example, you could say,
- We all pitched in to clean the house for my parents.
Or,
- If everyone pitches in, it won’t be hard to look after Mum and Dad.
To look after means to take care of someone or something to make sure they are safe and healthy and have what they need.
So, whenever you’re taking care of someone or something, you can say you are looking after them.
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Paul Nicholson and Lily O'Sullivan voiced the characters of Allan and Claire, and Professor Lynda Yates was our educational consultant.
