And while most of the lingua bicicleta is fairly self-explanatory, I thought I'd put together a few of the more common occurring tidbits of two-wheeled vernacular from the average weekend bunchie as reference point for you novice roadies looking for some conversational bike-nese.
Here goes.
1. hubbard, noun
A rider with little to no technical ability, mismatched kit, and more than likely unshaven legs. Hubbards tend to crash often, stand out from afar, and have limited knowledge of the sport.
As in; "Did you see that guy fail to unclip at the lights?. Yeah, Al is such a hubbard."
2. brew, noun
A coffee, most likely a double macchiato, ristretto, or espresso. Prerequisite to any ride. Often eclipses the ride itself. Almost always.
As in; "Was going to go for a bunchie, but after seeing that hubbard Al crash at the lights I thought better of it. Let's just go for a brew."
3. stompin', participle
Used to describe a rider in the local area who is riding particularly well. A hubbard can never be stompin'.
As in; "Did you hear [insert local pro] just shattered the long-standing record up [revered local climb]? He/she is stompin' at the moment. Makes the rest of us look like hubbards."
4. reco day, noun
A day in the week set aside for no, or very little cycling activity. Important if you're riding a lot to avoid overtraining, and fatigue, but often used as an excuse to not ride when you should be.
As in; 530AM alarm goes off, followed by text message to riding companion as follows - "I'm going to have a reco day today, what say we meet at the local for a brew?"
5. creepin', participle
The counterpart to stompin'. Used to disguise lack of training, or very occasionally, overtraining. A rider is creepin' when they're not riding at their normal level. Or at least their perceived normal level. Almost always used as a self-descriptor and as a deflection.
As in; "I'm really creepin' at the moment. I think I need a reco day. Wait for me at the top of [revered local climb]."
6. in-the-box, adjective
State of being on the limit, head 'chewing' the stem, blurred vision, and unable to do anything but think about pedalling.
As in; "I know I'm a hubbard and I'm really creepin' at the moment, but I really wanted to ride with [insert local pro] up [revered local climb]. Needless to say, he/she put me so deep in the box that I think I'm going to need a week's worth of reco days. Fancy a brew?"
7. cooked, verb
A state of low energy after a prolonged exertion without adequate sustenance. Not to be mistaken for creepin', although sometimes the result of being 'in-the-box' too long.
As in; "Because we didn't have that mid-ride brew after we crested [revered local climb], I'm now cooked, and am now riding like a hubbard."
8. popped, verb
Over the limit.
As in; "I knew I was creepin' before we headed out to [revered local climb], so I wasn't surprised I got popped when you put the hammer down. Less brews, more riding. Something to ponder on my next reco day."
9. hammer, verb
Riding fast with the intention of hurting yourself. Hammering too long likely to result in getting popped, or putting yourself in-the-box. *n/a if stompin'.
As in; "I had a dream that I was hammering so hard I put everyone in the box. Dreams eh?"
10. LBS, noun
The local bike shop. The place to hide when you're creepin', on a reco day, or if it's one of those new hybrid LBS's, have a brew.
As in; "I'm pretty sure the only reason I keep getting popped on [revered local climb] is because I need a new bike from my LBS. With [extremely expensive high-end brand] I'll be stompin'. Everytime I put the hammer down even [insert local pro] will in-the-box. Plus I'll be the envy of the pelo when, inevitably, we stop for a brew."**
**Such a strategy likely to result in permanent hubbard label.
So what have I missed? Your entries below.
