THE FALSE 9: ROUND 9 - Hey brother, can you spare a few million dollars for Kaka?

Brazilian great Kaka has tweeted pictures of himself cycling around Sydney and swimming with the sea turtles, but speculation he may extend a holiday Down Under to include a guest stint in the A-League is wishful thinking in the extreme according to one of Australia's biggest agents.


Source: Twitter

False 9 asked Lou Sticca if he thought there was even the remotest possibility it could happen. Sticca replied: "Kaka has signed a long-term deal with Orlando City, so I can't see it happening.

"It would cost outrageous money unless there were some family or personal reasons for Kaka wanting to do it, reasons we're not aware of. He's had a very successful season at Orlando and I couldn't see him being a player who would come to the A-League.

"He's on mega-money, so unless he's got some motivating reason to do it other than money I just can't see it happening. Clubs in the MLS spend a lot of money to sign these marquees and they're not going to want those plans to be diminished by agreeing to short-term stints.

"There is the risk of injury as well. I think it's people putting two and two together and getting five. As a fan I'd love to see it happen, but I'd view it as an extreme long-shot."

Socceroo coach Ange Postecoglou contributed to speculation about an A-League signing to end all signings when he made his end-of-show prediction on ABC TV's The Offsiders program on Sunday.

"The biggest marquee we've ever had will join the A-League in January and make it the best finals series ever," Postecoglou said.

After visiting Sydney last week, Kaka was seen taking in the sights of Postecoglou's home town, Melbourne, this week. Sydney FC, Melbourne Victory and Melbourne City are the only clubs viewed as possibly being big enough to even contemplate trying to haul Kaka in for a guest stint.

Postecoglou didn't mention any names, so it wasn't clear whether he was hinting at Kaka or perhaps another Brazilian superstar in Ronaldindo, who has been the subject of recent reports that he could surface in the A-League if the money was right.

But Sticca suggests we shouldn't hold our breaths on the Ronaldinho front either.

"Ronaldindo is out of contract, but these guys want staggering amounts of money and it's just not viable, unless, as I said earlier, you find a trigger where they have their own personal reasons for wanting to do it," he said.

Kaka is said to be on about $AU9.67 million per season at Orlando City. Anyone out there with so much money and a deep love of football that you want to throw several million dollars his way to try to convince him to put the boots on for a few games here?

He said it

Melbourne Victory coach Kevin Muscat had every right to stick it to the FFA over the atrocious pitch produced for the game against Wellington Phoenix that was somehow passed fit for A-League consumption.

"It is an absolute disgrace that pitch passes the standards that we’ve supposedly got for an elite football game," Muscat said. "If that passes the minimum standard then the process is flawed and needs to be looked at.

"These sorts of things have happened before and obviously have not been rectified. The pitch was not fit for a football game, let alone safe. I thought grass was a pretty big component that needs to be used for a football game, (but) unfortunately there was no grass, it was just green sand.

"To travel all the way across here and play on that, it's embarrassing. We want to play decent football, we want to play good football and try to entertain the people who turn up.

"They (Phoenix fans) will go home happy because Wellington got the result, but if you analyse the football it was terrible."

Painting a bare pitch green doesn't fool anyone. May as well paint it black and hope no-one can tell how bad it is underneath. Cue this week's musical item.


How did that feel?

Western Sydney Wanderers midfielder Mitch Nichols bent it like David Beckham for the winning goal against Brisbane Roar, only from a moving ball rather than a set-piece. And he happily admitted it felt great.

"I just looked up, let fly and I made the perfect connection with the ball and thankfully it just curled the right way and ended up getting inside the post," Nichols said.

"I knew once I hit it, it was going in, and it was a great feeling. Not just because it was a nice goal, but because it allowed us to get all three points."

No more lonely Knights

Central Coast Mariners will certainly  achieve something if they keep going the way they're going. They will become the worst defensive team in the history of the A-League.

That title is still held by the defunct New Zealand Knights, who conceded 47 goals in 21 games at an average of 2.238 goals per game in the first season of the competition, in 2005-06.

The 5-1 loss at home to Melbourne City meant Central Coast has conceded 21 goals in nine games this season, at an average of 2.333.


Tweet, tweet #1

Phoenix player: "Muscat's head is going to explode when he sees this pitch."


Tweet, tweet #2

Kevin Muscat: "WTF?!?"

Tweet, tweet #3

Nervous match balls desperately try to stay on the rare bits of actual grass and off the painted sand and mud at QBE Stadium.

Kenny Lowe-isms, part 3486

The Perth Glory coach saw his team fall to the bottom of the ladder by losing 1-0 to Adelaide United, but he knows feeling sorry for yourself isn't the answer.

As usual, he was very quotable at the post-match media conference.

"We'll just get on with it," Lowe said. "Otherwise you'll just throw yourself off the top of a big building, ha ha ha ha ha."

Can't wait for . . .

Western Sydney Wanderers and Melbourne Victory to do battle at Pirtek Stadium on Saturday night. No threat of a grossly sub-standard pitch affecting the quality of this match.

Victory will be determined to bounce back after their 2-0 loss to Wellington. They haven't lost two games in a row in their last 50 A-League matches, since going down in rounds 15 and 16 of the 2013-14 season.

But Wanderers have stormed to the top of the table with six straight wins, after picking up just one point from the first three rounds.

It should be a fabulous contest.

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6 min read
Published 8 December 2015 at 6:41pm
By Greg Prichard