Tour de France: just like your average girls' night out

I've got a lot of mates who want to watch the TDF but they're a bit put off by all the different words and phrases. So I put together this explainer. It's just like a night out with the girls.

Chris Froome (C) and team mates celebrate another Tour de France victory for Team Sky (Getty) Source: Getty Images

For three weeks in July, there's a load of French or other words/phrases us cycling commentators, riders and fans pepper our conversations with. Some of our mates are just like "yeah, whatevs." We're not just being pretentious either, they actually describe a lot of what's going on in the race. 

But it's easier to understand when you compare it all to your average girls' night out. Here goes.

Peloton

Group of riders, comes from French word for "herd"

The main big group you go out in, start the night with, walk to the next bar with. There’s some breakaways – usually someone meets a guy/girl or someone’s outside drunk dialling/texting their ex - but there’s often a big bunch of you who head home together.

Gateway to the Alps... Stage 16 brings the peloton to Gap. (AFP) Source: AFP

Domestique

"Servant"; cyclist who works hard for team leader out front of peloton and other services. Not usually out for personal glory

The mate who gets the drinks, goes to the toilet with you, holds your hair while you vomit and holds your hand to lead you out to the dance floor. If she’s not performing well or for whatever reason is not there, you and your whole group can sometimes fall to pieces.

Team leader/General Classification leader/yellow jersey winner

The one in the group we all want to be

She’s confident, OK looking AND usually nice - but people not in your group can often misunderstand her and think she's arrogant. She’s got EVERYTHING including the dress and the guy/girl we were all after too.

But she always makes it to the end of the night and doesn't dump you but you all pretty much go where she wants to. Yeah, we all have our good qualities, but you know there’s something special about this one.

Chris Froome in the leader's yellow jersey accompanied by his Sky team-mates. He went on to win the 2015 Tour de France (Getty) Source: Getty Images

Sprinteur

Sprinter - flashy as hell, wins a few stages, then either choofs off home or makes it over the mountains to win the last flashy stage in Paris

You're there for HER. She doesn't really need you until the chips are down and she needs a wingman. You'll help out, she'll score and then leave you on your own.

Marcel Kittel of Etixx-QuickStep (Getty)

Grimpeur

Climber

The lanky and skinny girl of the group who has flashes of brilliance during the later stages of the night when you're all just thinking how much your feet hurt from your high heels and leaves you for dead on the dance floor. She sometimes looks good in polka dots too.

Daniel Teklehaimanot hopes to add the Tour de France's polka dot jersey to the one he won at this year's Dauphine and the days he wore it in in 2015 (Getty) Source: Getty Images

Tete de la course

Front of the pack/the breakaway

The one who gets socially excited and/or has too much to drink and goes hard early. If she remembers to have water and gets some air, she will make it through the whole night out on the dance floor while the rest of you are still seated talking about life and love.

If not, she’s the one the domestique has to hug while she’s crying or holding her hair while she vomits, or noone actually knows where she gets to but you find out next day she passed out and was asleep somewhere.

Stagiare

Apprentice

Someone’s younger sister, cousin, nephew who’s just turned 18 and is on her first night out with you. She learns a lot from you all.

Etape

Stage (as in the TDF has 21)

Each bar you go to or plan to go to on the night out

Allez

"Go"

You yell this repeatedly as you do shots

Bidon

Drink bottle

Cocktail glass

Jaune

As in maillot (jersey) jaune (yellow)

The colour of your eyeballs the next day

Vert

As in maillot (jersey) vert (green) (jersey for the most consistent sprinter type racer)

Green is how you feel the next day

Peter Sagan: happy in green (AAP) Source: AAP

Combative

Agressive rider - attacks when things seem pointless and may pull it off to win

The girl who attacks you verbally or physically when she’s drunk. It's sometimes the same person as Tete de la course

Commissaires

Race referees

Officious bouncers who for example reckon tete de la course has had her last drink and you all should leave. You'd think combative would take offence but it's usually sprinteur.

Soigneur

Team dogsbody/assistant - not riding on the team

If it's a hen’s night, this would be the bridesmaid.

Roleur

Strong rider who drives bunch on flat stages for team & leader, can win a stage or two for himself if it's not too mountainous

The mate who motivates you in the last hour to keep going, have another drink, and gets you to the last bar.

2015 TDF: Tony Martin may have been resplendent in his yellow jersey, but it didn't absolve him from 'driving the front of the bunch' duties (AAP)

Lanterne Rouge

Red lantern. Refers to red light on back of a train or, the rider who after 21 stages is last

They break off from the group and end up waking up somewhere that doesn’t look familiar. They are the last one home.