That's right, Rupaul's Drag Race royalty and stars of viral Youtube show UNHhhh, Trixie Mattel and Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova (but your Dad just calls her Katya) are heading to our screens with their new series The Trixie and Katya Show (fast tracked to SBS Viceland). And being the very kind queens they are, they took some time out of their enormously busy schedules to chat to us about it.
Being on the phone with Trixie and Katya is like sitting in on an episode of their show. Their unique, quickfire wit isn't scripted, it's just their natural dynamic - fast-paced to the point that, if you weren't laughing so much, you'd almost fear falling behind their wickedly funny eight ball. Luckily, they're also two of the nicest hell-dykes (Katya's term, not mine) you'll ever meet.
Trixie begins by explaining that a fundamental fact about The Trixie and Katya Show is that her name is first because it's a similar concept to Batman and Robin - the second name is always the sidekick. She continues by describing other similarities to Gotham's superheroes: "I have a very sculpted upper body and I have a cave, I live in the cave". Katya agrees, explaining that she is clearly Robin: "I come from a circus. Didn’t Robin come from a circus? That’s why he’s so acrobatic, right?"
After Trixie clears up that Robin, in fact, came from an orphanage, Katya explains to me how The Trixie and Katya Show differs to UNHhhh.
"It’s a little something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue," Katya says. "The blue thing is my balls, and the borrowed thing is a cane from an old woman."
"And my blue thing is the circles under my eyes," Trixie adds.
"It’s like when your dad marries a new woman, you can’t compare it to the old one," Katya tells me. "You just have to move on, and accept the new woman as your mother - that’s what’s happening with this TV show. The comments we usually get are, 'we wish the show was longer, we wish they had more time to work with it'. Everything the audience wanted, and we wanted to do, we got to do."
I notice that I'm overthinking my pronunciation of UNHhhh - so I ask if they find it amusing hearing interviewers trying to accurately pronounce the orgasmic-sounding name of their YouTube show. "There’s no wrong way to say it," Katya assures me. "It’s post-verbal, mama! It’s pre AND post verbal. You can just go AGGGHHHH and that’s fine too!"
Trixie informs me that at one point in time, World of Wonder were actually "not super on board with the name UNHhhh", but they came around. "World of Wonder and Viceland have both come to trust us with their lives," she tells me - I agree this was absolutely the correct choice.
It's at this point that Katya interrupts the questioning to pose her own query: "Quick question - what do you think Gene Wilder uses to wash his hair to get it all frizzy like that?"
After Trixie informs Katya that Gene Wilder is actually deceased ("Oh he is? I guess he doesn’t wash his hair then"), she tells me that her co-host has unwittingly given me the most accurate description of their show to date: 'Shampoo for a dead man's hair'. I offer to make it the tagline for this story, but Trixie tells me that I should actually make it my Tinder bio.
"That’s a good intro actually, ‘I’m the conditioner that killed Gene Wilder!’" laughs Trixie. The queens both screech with their infamously infectious laughter.
I decide to ask them about their two-part 'Jobs Before Drag Race' UNHhhh episode, and delve into where they think they'd be if they hadn't become internationally famous drag queens. Katya tells me she probably would've been a community college psychology professor "who ODs or something, just to keep it real".
I ask Trixie, and realise her line had been interrupted. As I organise for the call to be reconnected, Katya yells laughingly, "How dare you Australian cretins force her out of the room! I knew you were an island full of criminals but I didn’t believe it until now!"
Trixie comes back on the call (Katya: "I was just talking about how ugly you are, so let me go on"), and we start discussing the enormous growth of the Drag Race fanbase, and the consequential online hate that many of the queens receive.
"I think Trixie and I get the least amount of hate out of all the Drag Race alumni," says Katya. "I get almost zero, and the only thing she really gets is ‘I don’t understand her fucking makeup!’. But look, we don’t have the fucking time to read the comment section. It’s a social life, or time to read the comment section: I prefer social life."
"I prefer rewatching earlier seasons of Charmed because I think they killed Shannen Doherty off too early," Trixie deadpans.
"Yeah look, we don’t pay attention to that stuff," Trixie continues. "We also have the advantage of being losers; when you win things, people then have the responsibility of critiquing whether you deserved to win.
"Katya and I are both very 1000 per cent sure of who we are, but have not been acknowledged with any sort of accolades. It’s sort of like, not cool to hit on us, because we don’t have anything to lose."
Katya agrees: "Yeah, you don’t kick the underdog mama, because you’re a monster if you do that."
"I personally don’t think there’s anything unique about it as compared to general hate on Twitter and communities online," Katya continues. "What a revelation: queer people can be just as stupid as straight people sometimes."
I get given the signal to wrap up my interview (a devastating moment), and I decided to propose a quick-fire round - quick questions, fast answers. Here is the full transcript of it, for your enjoyment.
Me: What’s the best thing about drag?
Trixie: Oh… oh god. Ummm... The type of comedy you get to do in drag.
Katya: Taking it off.
Me: What’s the worst thing about drag?
Trixie: Just drag in general. It hurts, it’s horrible.
Me: Do you call each other Brian, or Trixie or Katya?
Both: Trixie and Katya.
Me: Do you have nicknames for each other?
Trixie: Vile piece of shit from hell!
Katya: Hell dyke!
Me: What’s your most hated phrase or term in drag culture?
Katya: Any of them.
Trixie: YAASSSSSSSSS. The best way to create emotional or spiritual distance between me and another person is for them to come up to me and go, "yaassssss’"
Me: Glad I didn’t start the interview with it!
Trixie: When someone says ‘YASSS QUEEN!’ to me, I turn around, and X-Men style run through a wall. You’ll never hear from me again.
Me: In your mind, what does [regularly-referenced UNHhhh character] Brenda look like?
Katya: 5’2 and about 300 pounds, with bad teeth and no sense of humour.
Trixie: Oh yeah, that’s definitely Brenda.
The Trixie and Katya Show is set to premiere on Viceland on November 15, and will be fast-tracked on SBS Viceland on November 16.