• Journalist Rowaida Abdelaziz spots 'chocolate hummus' at local supermarket. (Twitter/ Rowaida Abdelaziz)Source: Twitter/ Rowaida Abdelaziz
"I need to report a hate crime."
By
SBS staff writers

15 Sep 2020 - 1:48 PM  UPDATED 15 Sep 2020 - 2:16 PM

Chickpeas, tahini, garlic, a touch of lemon and olive oil. That's what we talk about when we talk about hummus.

Depending on which part of the world this silky spread comes from, there might be subtle variations on the theme. A hit of sumac in Turkey? A dollop of yoghurt in Jordan? All delicious. All good things. 

Call it hummus diplomacy: a wise chickpea fan knows there's no such thing as the 'right' way to make the beloved dish. But no matter how open-minded you are, there are limits to what one can do to a hummus in good conscience. And some companies are pushing the boundaries. Hard. 

Huffpost reporter Rowaida Abdelaziz hit her limit when she spotted a chocolate flavoured hummus in her local supermarket. 

Twitter is quick to validate Abdelaziz's grievance, with varying degrees of shared trauma: 

Some contributed to the collective grief with other examples of crimes against hummus: 

But perhaps nothing says 'too far' than a Marmite flavoured spin-off: 

Interestingly, questionable hummus creations are nothing new. Back in 2017, US publication Bon Appetit launched its own (unofficial) investigation into the dark world of 'dessert hummus', taste testing flavours like 'snickerdoodle ' and 'brownie batter' hummus. Said inventions, perhaps unsurprisingly, came from a contestant on Shark Tank, for which entrepreneur Makenzie Marzluff received $600,000 USD in funding. 

While tragedies big and small continue to unfold around the world, shall we be quietly grateful that at least this trend hasn't reached the shores of Australia (yet)?