OPINION
This week, New Zealand politicians have been in the international spotlight for all the right reasons. Footage of New Zealand’s House of Representatives speaker, Trevor Mallard nursing a fellow parliamentarian’s baby while presiding over a debate has made international news – and rightly so.
It’s not the first time our neighbours across the ditch have shown us their baby-friendly ways - let's not forget that Jacinda Ardern is the world’s second elected leader to give birth while in office and brought her own daughter Neve Te Aroha to the United Nation’s General Assembly.
The image quickly went viral. One of the reasons why it’s being celebrated (apart from the fact that everyone loves a cute baby) is that Mallard is accommodating a new dad returning to work.
Labor MP Tāmati Coffey and his husband Tim Smith welcomed their son Tūtānekai in July via surrogate. This week was Coffey’s first day back at work following paternity leave. Coffey said he felt supported by his colleagues, with Gareth Hughes of the Green Party writing on Twitter, “Lovely to have a baby in the House, and what a beautiful one @tamaticoffey."
Another Green Party member Golriz Ghahraman posted a photo of Coffey with his new son on Twitter. “Who needs to see this today?,” she wrote. “Every single last one of us, that’s who. Here’s a brand new papa holding his new born in our House of Representatives right now.”
It’s affirming to see Coffey so supported by his colleagues, and a reminder that parenthood comes in many shapes and forms. When I was applying for government parental leave for my first child, I was surprised to read the paperwork use the language of “birth mother” as the primary carer. This default to “birth mother” is limiting, and continues to box parents into certain roles, which we can see play out when parents return to work. I can’t even imagine the bureaucratic nightmare for parents in Coffey’s situation—two dads with a child born via surrogate.
As the primary carer of my child, I was able to arrange an official flexible working arrangement with my employer on returning to work. My partner was fortunate enough to have an informal agreement in place, meaning he could care for our child one day a week – but his situation is still largely the exception.
A May 2019 study found that only one in 20 dads take primary parental leave, which is a low number by global standards. Researchers cite a number of reasons for this, including the fact that Australia does not have a shared parental leave approach, and in most cases “fathers are often labelled as ‘secondary carers’ – and most organisations provide limited parental leave allowance for secondary carers, if any at all.” They also cited the stigma around fathers taking extended leave and the lack of visibility of male colleagues taking parental leave.
This stigma doesn’t stop when both parents return to work either.
This stigma doesn’t stop when both parents return to work either. The most common question I was asked when I returned to work from a year’s parental leave was, “what are you doing for childcare?”
I don’t think my partner has been asked that once. The assumption is that as the mum, I’m the primary carer in what is in reality an equal partnership. But no matter how progressive our relationship is, the fact that the assumptions and culture around us can continually force us back into gender boxes, makes not falling back on traditional gender scripts an uphill battle.
Working mums need flexibility, but more importantly so do men.
There are days when you have to leave early for daycare pick up, take leave for sick days—and to be honest, there’s no one as productive as a mum with limited hours in their day. But dads need this flexibility too. They need to see their male colleagues taking the morning off for Book Week parades and leaving early for doctor’s appointments.
It’s only when dads are encouraged to bring their home life to work, will we start to see gender equality in the workplace.
Is it any wonder that a baby in parliament was so celebrated?
