OPINION
If there's one thing new SBS series The Hunting tells us about toxic masculinity, it's that it is a learned behaviour.
Teenage boys don't just wake up one day with abusive tendencies and an inherent disrespect for women; their behaviour is born from a deep fear of inadequacy and failure, fanned by the expectations and projections of classmates and the mainstream media, and ultimately cemented by the complicity of father figures raised in a time of traditional gender roles.
There is perhaps no greater depiction of this process than watching a father step in to bat for his teenage son, who has just been caught distributing semi-naked images of his classmates without consent - as we see in the case of The Hunting character Andy (Alex Cusack) and his father, Nick (Richard Roxburgh).
Tackling themes of misogyny, privacy, sexuality and sexualisation, as well as online exploitation, masculinity and gender, The Hunting follows four teenagers, their families and teachers as they navigate the aftermath of a complex and traumatising high school scandal.
As an effeminate boy attending all-boys high school in year 7, I was surrounded by boys like Andy scrambling to assert their masculinity and secure a top-rung spot on the food chain.
The character of Andy is all too familiar to me. As an effeminate boy attending all-boys high school in year 7, I was surrounded by boys like Andy scrambling to assert their masculinity and secure a top-rung spot on the food chain. There were also plenty of boys like character Nassim (Yazeed Daher); those who were gentler in nature, but peer-pressured by their classmates to behave in ways they were clearly uncomfortable with.
The clear power imbalance found in Andy and Nassim's friendship, and Nassim's subsequent desperation to impress Andy, is at the heart of most behaviour we refer to as 'toxic masculinity'. That's why it's toxic, because it festers and spreads and emotionally derails otherwise decent, well-meaning guys. However, the difference between the two characters is made especially apparent once their fathers come into play. While Nassim's father teaches accountability, Andy's encourages deception and gaslighting.
The unwillingness of Andy's father to appropriately reprimand his son - to truly hold him accountable - for distributing images of girls without their consent, gave Andy the permission he needed, conscious or not, to continue weaving a web of deceit. It was, in a twisted, indirect way, his father's stamp of approval as a man.
It's hard to watch, particularly because in the years since high school ended, I've been contacted by multiple 'Andys' who once bullied me - many of whom have offered sincere-sounding apologies for their behaviour at the time. As reassuring as this can be, and do I think it is reassuring, these apologies also lends credence to the notion that toxic behavioural patterns aren't ingrained in young men.
They are learned and can just as easily be unlearned, given the opportunity.
Some just aren't given it.
Back in year 7, I remember noticing the different ways 'Andys' and 'Nassims' acted towards me when they were by themselves.
Back in year 7, I remember noticing the different ways 'Andys' and 'Nassims' acted towards me when they were by themselves. Often, they were polite and friendly, if not a little dismissive. We would make small-talk about different TV shows or sporting events (which I tried my best to understand at the time). It wasn't until lunchtime, when an ocean of white shirts, grey shorts and loose-fitting ties formed on the school playground, that the nastiness emerged - a never-ending game of one-upping each other.
This pack mentality usually continued on the 45-minute public transport commute to and from school. One boy would dare another to throw my school bag on the train tracks, or fake-invite me over to their house before jumping on a bus without me and laughing through the rear windows.
Today, I'm not convinced that any of these boys were mean-spirited on their own, just that they didn't have a strong enough sense of self to stand firm against the current. When I was thirteen, however, it was harder to understand this distinction. I wasn't able to grasp the complicated forces at play - the frayed families, the fear of weakness, the fear of failure, the desperate need to assert their strength - behind a bully.
If, like Nassim's father attempts to do on The Hunting, older male figures are able to encourage young men to be communicative and open, to embrace the inherent vulnerability of growing up, actions like those I bore the brunt of will inevitably become fewer and farther between.
The Hunting premieres on Thursday, August 1 at 8:30pm on SBS and SBS On Demand, and airs over four weeks.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800737732 or visit www.1800RESPECT.org.au, or in an emergency dial 000.
Parents and teachers looking for more information can visit the eSafety Commissioner website and SBS Learn.
Samuel Leighton-Dore is a SBS Pride staff writer and the author of 'How to Be a Big Strong Man'. You can follow Sam on Twitter @SamLeightonDore or Instagram on @samleightondore.
