Erol's story

Erol shares his story about reconnecting with his faith as a Turkish Muslim man, while also coming to terms with his sexuality.

Published 12 May 2016 2:04pm

Updated 13 May 2016 9:28am

By SBS Radio

Source: SBS

Image: Erol (Ash Mar)

Being gay and Muslim

Erol Source: Ash Mar

Born in Sydney, Erol moved to Istanbul, Turkey with his family midway through primary school to complete the second half of his education. The concept of dual worlds became somewhat of motif for him later in life not just geographically, but also because he identifies as both gay and Muslim.

"Being Muslim like any religion is a personal thing, it’s a spiritual thing. It shares a lot of traits with other religions. It’s a connection to something larger than yourself. It’s a connection to a community," he explains.

Being a Muslim was also very complex for Erol as someone who was same sex-attracted and, for a while, he rejected it.

A lot of who I am is not compatible with Islam. I was taught that I’d be rejected and not ok.

"A lot of who I am is not compatible with Islam. I was taught that I’d be rejected and not ok,” he says.

“In most Semitic religions, in Christianity and Judaism, there are scripts saying that homosexuality is a bad thing, but there’s all sorts of things in religion that have changed over time – things like you can’t work on the Sabbath or that slavery is ok.

"Things change, and I don’t see why sexuality, and the relationship between religion and sexuality, can’t be one of those things.”

Erol Source: Ash Mar

In recent years Erol says he's been trying to reconnect with his religion more because he think it’s important to have some kind of spiritual element in his personal life.

“If more progressive Muslims and people from diverse backgrounds are represented, I think that’d be a good thing," he says.

While he was able to reconcile his faith and sexuality, he says it was still difficult for his family.

“Often family do not expect their child to be of a different sexuality... parents assume that their child is straight, even though it’s clear that they’re not.”

Being gay and Middle Eastern

Erol Source: Ash Mar

Despite being quite young when the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 took place, Erol says it was a poignant moment in his life.

"I realised people are going to associate me with these things happening on the other side of the world," he says.

“The balance between being Middle Eastern and gay has always been a really interesting thing in my mind because it’s discrimination from different parts of society. I’ve thought, as I’m getting older, it’s more acceptable to be gay, but it’s becoming less acceptable to be Middle Eastern."

I’ve thought, as I’m getting older, it’s more acceptable to be gay, but it’s becoming less acceptable to be Middle Eastern.

He said he spent a lot of time in his youth acting in a way that helped disguised the fact that he was gay, but now catches himself trying to distance himself from being Middle Eastern and Muslim.

“There’s always something in my life that I feel like I need to modify to be more acceptable in mainstream society, but I’m trying to put that aside and just be myself."

Erol Source: Ash Mar

“I feel like being gay or bisexual really is a gift in a way because it makes you feel more compassionate towards minorities; you become a bit more conscious of the suffering that people might go through [if they come from] diverse backgrounds.”

While Erol says he doesn't tend to advertise himself as a bridge between these communities, he also finds himself driven to help promote understanding.

“Of course you have to have an element of caution, but if you want to see a change in society [and ensure] these kind of discriminatory sentiments not continue to the next generation, I guess you just have to take the risk."

Video interview

CREDITS

Director - Florencia Melgar

Photos - Ash Mar

Camera - Phil Taylor

Production Assistance - Marco Lucchi

Words - Drew Sheldrick