In the last few months, many Hollywood personalities have been accused of sexual offences, notably Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, and Louis CK. An uncountable amount of women, including some celebrities, have come forward sharing their own personal experiences of sexual assault and harrassment, sharing them under the hashtag of #MeToo.
In the midst of this deluge of allegations, the Girl Scouts of America have issued a warning to parents, saying that young women should learn about consent and bodily autonomy from a very young age.
The group posted a story on their website in the leadup to Thanksgiving and the holiday season, encouraging parents not to force their children to engage in physical contact with relatives and friends, and instead let them choose their method of affection.
The piece highlights scenarios that often occur during the holiday season, where parents will say something like, 'Your cousins just arrived, go give them a hug!' - the child may not want to, but are forced to, which could ingrain the message that they can be coerced into abandoning their bodily autonomy.
“Have you ever insisted, 'Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!’ or ‘Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,’ when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own?” the piece reads. “If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.”
It delves into the concept of consent in regards to 'owing' someone something. The piece continues, “Telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life."
Many children may naturally want to hug and kiss family members, friends, and neighbours, and that’s lovely—but if your daughter is reticent, don’t force her.
The Girl Scouts cites developmental child psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, who explains that consent "may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn't pertain to children", but argues that it absolutely does.
"The lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older," Dr. Archibald explains. "Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.”
The Girl Scouts website clarifies that this advice doesn't mean to imply that children are allowed to be rude to adults or family members - but the child should be allowed to choose how they show affection or thankfulness.
"Give your girl the space to decide when and how she wants to show affection. Of course, many children may naturally want to hug and kiss family members, friends, and neighbours, and that’s lovely—but if your daughter is reticent, don’t force her. Of course, this doesn’t give her license to be rude! There are many other ways to show appreciation, thankfulness, and love that don’t require physical contact."
The piece suggests using words to explain how much they have missed someone, smiling, high-fiving, and even air kisses as substitutes if parents notice a child not feeling comfortable with physical contact.
The post has received mixed responses, with some agreeing with early teachings for bodily autonomy, and others disregarding the advice as 'PC rubbish'.
You can read the Girl Scouts piece on teaching children about consent, titled 'Reminder: She Doesn’t Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays', here.
If you need support, you can contact Respect on 1800 737 732, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
