My son’s birth was fairly unusual because, although I am his mother, I was not the one who gave birth to him. That extraordinary job was undertaken by a woman named Kendal Blacker, who acted as my surrogate.
I was born with cystic fibrosis and in my late 20s, my lungs began to fail. I received a life-saving double-lung transplant in 2012. The transplant offered me and my partner Rhys, a chance to start a family. But an episode of organ rejection a few years later meant I lost half my lung capacity. I was advised it was far too dangerous for me to carry a pregnancy.
Thinking about the challenges we would face to start our family made me want to sell all my stuff and move to Portugal. But I am stubborn and didn’t want to give up. A surge of hope propelled us forward when Rhys and I created several good quality embryos. Then we met Kendal and our spirits soared
Our relationship with Kendal grew over Skype after a friend of mine introduced us. She was in Vancouver and we were in Sydney. The first time we spoke we knew we had a special connection. She generously offered to be our surrogate. Within a year she was pregnant with our baby. With the help of Skype and Whatsapp, Rhys and I watched our baby grow into a strong healthy boy. In July this year we flew to Canada to await his arrival.
Ellice and baby Franklin. Photo: Jessamine Chen Source: Jessamine Chen.
A week later Kendal’s water broke and our son Franklin, was born six weeks premature. Rhys and I were in the delivery room, holding Kendal’s hand, as he was delivered by c-section. Dave, Kendal’s husband, anxiously waited outside. I saw Franklin’s round head and instantly recognised him as my son. But the excitement turned to confusion when he was taken to the side of the room to be checked over by the paediatricians. It soon became evident to us all that he was struggling to breathe. His lungs hadn’t had enough time to fully develop.
When I saw that something was wrong with his breathing, the trauma of not being able to breathe before my transplant resurfaced. It was a huge shock. I just wanted to hold him tight and love him but there was nothing I could do.
In that moment of becoming a mother, I suddenly understood the weight of helplessness that my own mother must have felt watching me struggle to breathe.
Little Frankie spent a week in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). His premature birth was due to a condition called vasa previa with velamentous cord insertion, where the baby's umbilical blood vessels cover the cervix. Insurance determined it was a pre-existing condition and not covered by insurance.
Rhy, Ellice and Kendal holding baby Franklin. Source: Kendal Blacker Photography
In the week he spent in the NICU we kept a vigil by his side day and night and watched as the tubes and monitors were slowly taken away and he was authorised for discharge. We were especially anxious during his stay in the NICU because even though Frankie was born in Canada, he would not be considered a resident and entitled to health cover.
After exploring all our options we learned that we would be paying out-of-pocket for his stay. We met with the hospital’s finance team one day before his discharge and they confirmed the cost would be over AU$16,000 a day. We knew the cost of healthcare but it was still a shock. We made a conscious effort to park that worry for another day so we could focus on Frankie’s health.
Baby Franklin in a Vancouver hospital. Photo: Morag Hastings. Source: Morag Hastings
Kendal became a huge part of Frankie’s recovery. She expressed breast milk every three hours for him and he happily guzzled it and grew rapidly. Kendal and Frankie have been through something incredible together and have an unbreakable lifelong bond. Rhys and I also feel a strong bond with Kendal and her family.
Now we are back in Sydney with our beautiful little bundle and, unfortunately, quite a large debt to the hospital that saved our son’s life. But we have more than we ever dreamt of having. Our family has grown with the arrival of Frankie but it’s much bigger than that because Kendal, Dave and their children have become like kin to us and have cemented a place in our hearts.
