Seven hours after the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, gave birth to her third child she was out at the front of the hospital where she had recently delivered her baby, waving to the multitude of attending press and onlookers. It led many to wonder why, or how, she could possibly be made to do this? This woman had just been in labour a few hours ago! Here’s the thing, this is the Duchess’s third child, so she’s lucky she got that seven hours.
A mere three hours after I gave birth to my third child, also a son, I was firing off texts arranging for my eldest daughter to be taken to her netball practice. I didn’t look anywhere as glamourous as Kate was after what must have been hours of primping but I had managed to have a shower! When I told the mum on the other end of the phone that I had just given birth she couldn’t believe it. But that’s what life is like when you’ve had your third – the other two still need you. With my first I was barely comprehensible in the hours after labour. I was still processing what had just happened. This time however I quickly came to accept this was my new normal.
The next day I checked out of the hospital and embraced the fact that life would never be the same again.
Prepare to have your life split into thirds. Source: Supplied
Of course Kate Middleton is going to have all the wealth and trappings that come with being married to the second in line for the British crown, but that doesn’t mean that she isn’t still a mum. One who is now going to have to split her life into thirds. Unfortunately they won’t be neat little thirds – there will always be a time where one child will dominate all your attention over the other two so you will end up giving 80 per cent of your attention to one child and splitting 20 per cent between the other two before they all swap places in one endless head-spinning merry go round.
And then there will be days when all children will need all your attention and you will realise you are only one person who sometimes, despite trying your hardest, isn’t good enough. On those days Kate, you will need all the wine and chocolate you can muster – forget what the royal minders tell you about diet and whatnot.
Stand in a corner if you must. I sometimes hide behind a cupboard, and consume something that may give you a few minutes of feeling like you can do this. If nothing else you get a break – and yes, life will now be a series of micro breaks, so grab them wherever you can. The loo is a good place, though often I will have at least one child who will need me immediately just as soon as I sit down on the toilet. So these days I don’t even close the bathroom door. This again is all part of the new normal.
Oh and in case you had done the maths if Kate divides herself into thirds – one third for each child – she leaves nothing for herself. And that indeed is correct. But of course it doesn’t mean that your personal life just stops after you have three. You still have your own commitments, just as she would continue to do so in her role as the Duchess of Cambridge. I still try and maintain a career and weep at how I can no longer compete with people who aren’t also juggling three kids, but again I remind myself: I have three kids, who even does that and still think they can achieve something in their field of choice? I do, dammit. I do.
Third children should be prepared to be poked and prodded by their older siblings. Source: Supplied
The mind and heart though seem to expand when you increase your brood and somehow you find little slivers of time and space (usually in the few minutes before you fall into an exhausted slumber) where you can still do the things you want to do on a personal and career level - or at least think about them wistfully. But as I often remind myself, life is not a race and also, what did I do with all my time before I had kids? Why did I waste all those precious years? Someone should have told me!
In any case Kate, enjoy this new normal, because as many wise older mums will remind you, these years are fleeting and they are gone oh so quickly. But also it’s OK to admit that sometimes the days drag and they can’t pass fast enough. On those days keep your expectations low – if they are fed and healthy, you’ve done well.
