Two and a half years ago, Michael Simpson married the love of his life - Australian Ballet soloist Brett Simon. The small, intimate ceremony took place in a room at the British Consulate in Melbourne in front of a group of 20 close friends and family.
For Melbourne marketing manager Simpson, 36, it was “the happiest day of my life.”
In this simple exchange of rings and vows, he and his partner had managed to defy Australia’s then existing ban against same-sex marriage and publicly confirm their love, faith and commitment to each other. “It was something we were so fortunate to do via the British system because my husband has a British passport,” he says. But there was a sombre lining to the day - their marriage was not recognised under Australian law. “So yes, that was a little bit disappointing.”
Fast forward to November 15 last year - the day when the result of a national plebiscite on marriage equality was announced.
The public response to a hard fought and often polarising campaign for equality was at times “incredibly hard on the entire LGBTI+ community,” Simpson recalls. “There were moments throughout the process that I found really difficult. Seeing nasty comments on social media, good friends telling you that their parents are voting ‘no’ - that was really confronting.”
Though the polling trends looked positive in the lead up, Simpson says he remained nervous. He was at work when the results were announced that morning and Australia became the 25th country to recognise same-sex marriage with 61.6 per cent of Australians who took part voting yes.
He laughs, saying his quiet euphoria was accompanied by an unusual physical reaction - a sudden splitting headache. “For me, it was the release of tension, I think. The emotion of it all - I wanted that result so badly. It was such an amazing day. So much work had been done in getting the result - the people who led the campaign did an incredible job unifying the community and encouraging as many people as possible to vote.”
For Simpson, the results of that historic vote point to a profound cultural shift in Australia in favour of equality and inclusion.
But he remains realistic that much remains to be done, from addressing the aggression and negativity faced by the trans community, to tackling a still prevalent culture of homophobia and bullying affecting the LGBTI+ community as a whole.
He counts himself lucky to not have experienced much discrimination himself, but still recalls the culture of “negative, aggressive connotations around the word gay” that kept him silent as a young boy at his private Catholic boys school in Melbourne.
A lack of gay support networks saw him stay him in the closet - a lonely and disempowering place - even at university; it was not until 21 that he finally resolved to tell his parents.
Coming out provided a huge sense of relief, but life was still lonely. An introvert at heart, he grappled with how to meet people. Salvation came from an unusual source - joining a gay water polo team in Melbourne that provided him with both a sporting outlet - he had always enjoyed being physically active - and a vital community support network.
Then came Brett, whom he met out after being at a friend’s party. The bond was instantaneous. Marrying his soulmate has proved to be the foundation stone in his life. Today, at age 36, he finds himself in a happy, stable place.
“I’m fairly active, I exercise regularly, I have two French bulldogs who keep me entertained, and a fantastic job.”
In March, Simpson will travel to Sydney as part of his employer Medibank’s float -- an interactive kiss cam which celebrates the evolution of a kiss and that things can be #BetterwithaKiss -- at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade. It will be the private health insurer’s third year as a festival partner and second year as parade participant.
He pays tribute to the company’s deep commitment to diversity and equality, which was especially present during the SSM vote with workplace initiatives ranging from “motivational playlists and coffee roulettes to after work drinks and counselling support.”
This year’s parade will mark the 40th anniversary of the event, and carry a particularly strong emotional resonance for the LGBTI+ community, he says. Uniting under the theme of ‘40 years of evolution’, marchers will celebrate their historic win on same-sex marriage reform as well as pay tribute to those who have made progress possible with up to 200 floats marching under a triumphant banner celebrating inclusion and diversity.
Simpson is keenly aware of how far the event has come, emerging from the first street festival on June 24th, 1978 held to mark the first anniversary of the Stonewall riots in New York but which ended up blighted by police violence and the charging of over 53 participants.
That first march shone a spotlight, however, on the inequities faced by the community, leading to legislative reform and becoming a major civil rights milestone in Australian history with Mardi Gras evolving into a powerful force for social, political and cultural change – as well as pride, celebration and self-expression.
Simpson is also mindful of the debt owed to previous generations of activists.
“Their work and sacrifices should never be forgotten… we wouldn’t be where we are now without so many people giving so much.”
There has been talk over recent years that Mardi Gras has lost its relevance as a political event, and that the battles have been largely won. Simpson disagrees.
“I think it is a great platform to celebrate, reflect and also focus. When I look at this year, we can look at celebrating what was a massive year for the community, we can reflect on some of the hardships the community has faced and overcome, and then we can focus a spotlight on those that need to be addressed in the community.”
Medibank has health cover for everyone, visit medibank.com.au/health-insurance/mardi-gras and if you or someone you know is in need of support, please visit Twenty10 online, call Qlife on 1800 184 527 or contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
