My two daughters are both gorgeous, loving kids – but I want them to be able to inflict a world of pain on someone if they so choose. I enrolled them in martial arts classes, each from the age of five. I tell people it’s because I want my girls to learn a sport that teaches discipline and self control, but the truth is it’s because I want them to be able to physically hurt someone if they have to.
I don’t condone physical violence and I view it as a last resort, but there are people out there who are willing to use it to get what they want, and I don’t want my daughters to fall prey to those people.
When I was a young woman, I was the victim of a physical assault by a man I had recently met. In my case, being able to fight may not have changed the outcome because I wasn’t so much physically overpowered as intimidated and unable to speak up to defend myself. But if I had those self-defence skills, I can’t help but feel I might have also carried myself with a different attitude – one that allowed me to stand up for myself more.
I also want them to be able to deliver an effective throat punch.
I don’t want to let my personal experience turn me into an overprotective mother, or to taint my view of the world my children are growing up in. I know there is much joy to be had, and many wonderful people to meet. I want my daughters to trust people they meet by default, and then be able to shift their perception should the circumstances require it.
I also want them to be able to deliver an effective throat punch.
The facts show I’m not just a reactive, overprotective mum. The Australian Bureau of Statistics says one in three Australian women have experienced physical violence, and one in five women have experienced sexual violence.
No parent wants that to happen to their child, but those figures mean there are a lot of parents out there grieving for the loss of innocence thrust upon their daughters.
Only 5.8 per cent of children are learning any form of martial arts. There are no statistics available that tell us what percentage of assault victims have studied any form of martial arts or fighting, but I’m working on the theory that the correlation would be lower than the general population.
Martial arts have given her a sense of belonging, discipline, confidence, respect for her body, and respect for others.
Watching my daughters learn martial arts has been a positive experience, in any case. My eldest, who is now 13, with eight years of martial arts experience under her (blue) belt, carries herself with a confidence she doesn’t always feel in other aspects of her life.
Martial arts have given her a sense of belonging, discipline, confidence, respect for her body, and respect for others. She hates other sports, preferring to read and draw than raise a sweat, but every week she still loves hitting the mat with her class.
I’m not sure she could defend herself from a serious assault at this stage, but she’s still learning, and she can certainly put me on my rump in a friendly lounge room scrap.
My younger daughter is only five, and isn’t sure about martial arts yet. She prefers the outfit she has for ballet over wearing her gi. But I’m playing the long game, and I’m hoping she’ll come around. In the meantime, any martial art that offers a pink uniform and lots of twirling really could corner a certain niche market.
Being able to fight isn’t the answer in every case, of course, and sometimes bad things will happen that we just can’t plan for or prevent. But if my daughters know how to handle themselves, at least I’m sending them out into the wilderness with a weapon in their arsenal.
I’m giving them a fighting chance.
