There is something exhilarating about a horse at full gallop down a cobblestone street, the horseman with cape streaming out behind and plumed hat bobbing. It`s probably the most exciting moment in the latest version of Alexandre Dumas` classic tale The Man In The Iron Mask. The Hoary old musketeers Athos - John Malkovich, Porthos - Gerard Depardieu, Aramis - Jeremy Irons and d`Artagnon - Gabriel Byrne come together again to save France from the capricious Louis XIV - Leonardo DiCaprio. The peasants are starving and Louis doesn`t care. But Wait. There`s a possible solution to this dilemma. There`s a Louis double locked up in a dungeon wearing an iron mask. And he`s a nice guy. Can they swap the two? Athos, Porthos, and Aramis say yes, but d`Artagnon is the captain of the King`s musketeers and owes his loyalty to Louis....The film is so corny, the dialogue is laughable. Writer/director Randall Wallace, who wrote Braveheart hasn`t managed to put much oomph into this rattlingly good tale and he`s cast globally so everyone in the film speaks with a different accent. It`s most odd. John Malkovich especially sits very uncomfortably in the cast. Depardieu brings a flatulent bawdiness to Porthos and Gabriel Byrne just looks mournful as d`Artagnon. Best of the lot with some of the most appalling lines is Jeremy Irons as Aramis. Anne Parillaud looks extremely beautiful as the Queen Mother. Leonardo is more convincing in the mask than as the king. Much as I think this The Man In The Iron Mask is a poor remake I still find I`m a sucker for horses and carriages dashing through the night on chivalrous errands.
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