The Eurovision Song Contest is a great excuse for a viewing party – an opportunity to meet new people, try new foods and showcase your anger issues as you too-aggressively ask for a ‘A BIT OF SHOOSH’ at the end of every ad break. In the ESC spirit of inclusivity, a Eurovision party can also be an occasion where people with wildly different personalities are thrown together for the very first time and before you know it you’re wedged between a tray of pastizzis and a bowl of tropical punch. You're then talking to the host’s upstairs neighbours about their worst Airbnb experiences and missing all of the hair-swinging, clog-dancing action.
Inspired by Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet In Heaven, here’s five people you should actively avoid at your next Eurovision shindig.
1. Woman who uses entire party as an excuse to talk about her European trip
Cassandra, we know you spent 48 hours in San Marino in 2008 and have a lot to say. Set up a slides night and we’ll all be sure to RSVP on Facebook.
2. Man who watched the live broadcast in the wee hours of the morning and just can’t keep his mouth shut

Source: E!
3. Man who vocalises all his jokes when he should just be silently Tweeting them

Source: ABC America
4. Woman who is a high school music teacher but mostly a frustrated pop star
After every performance this woman pauses, declares the singer was “a little pitchy”, then takes a sip of her Pinot Gris and looks away, nonchalantly. Also she’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that she taught Dami Im ‘everything she knows’.
5. Man who just doesn’t get it

Source: CBS
The Eurovision Song Contest will be broadcast on SBS’s Eurovision Weekend - Friday 13, Saturday 14 and Grand Final Sunday 15 May, 7.30pm on SBS, with LIVE early morning broadcasts from 5am on Wednesday 11, Friday 13 and Sunday 15 May.
For all the Eurovision behind the scenes action in Stockholm make sure to follow SBSAustralia on Snapchat.
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