Unless you have been staying in a cave that for some reason still doesn’t have Wi-Fi even though it is 2015 (which you should mention in your Yelp review), you would know that the Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that states can no longer ban same-sex marriage.
Marriage equality has now been achieved there, spreading rainbow profile pictures across everyone’s Facebook and making it hard to distinguish between acquaintances.
As a queer person, I am struck by many thoughts that come along with a momentous event like this.
There is the joy of knowing that people like me in America can finally get married after waiting so long, but there is also the awareness that there are many grave issues still affecting the LGBTQI community that should capture our attention.
Then there is the depressing realisation that any progress at all still seems very far away in Australia. These are all feelings and thoughts that co-exist and clash with each other. However, in witnessing the overall reaction to the ruling, there is one feeling that shines through, one that remains strong and pure and uncomplicated.
That feeling is schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude is a term for the satisfaction or pleasure you feel when someone else experiences misfortune. And since the decision, experiencing the non-stop schadenfreude has almost been as good as experiencing the happiness of the occasion. In this case, the tinge of guilt in the enjoyment of this so-called suffering of others is absent, for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, the people who are most vocally outraged about the decision (simply because they are against equality) are a non-stop parade of old, conservative, hate-mongering (mostly) men. Coincidentally, this is also the image over the caption of “World’s Least Fun Parade” in the Guinness Book of Records.
Secondly, the ‘misfortune’ they are ‘suffering’, this horrible awful fate they need to kick and scream about, is simply the fact that same-sex couples have now been given the option to get married.
What if a religious bakery owner has to sell a cake to a same-sex couple getting married? What if a priest is forced to conduct a wedding ceremony for a gay couple - because as we all know there are gay couples lined up around the block just begging for a person against marriage equality to conduct their wedding.
Anyone who thinks that teenage girls are the dramatic ones should read some of the hysterical responses to the ruling by people who somehow get dressed in the morning and have jobs and have people listen to them and do things like run for President.
There was the reaction by anti-gay radio host Bryan Fischer, who tweeted a screed including, “From a moral standpoint, 6/26 is now our 9/11”. Not over the top at all, Bryan.
Austin Ruse, a conservative columnist and contributor tweeted, amongst other things, “Let the persecution begin. I weep for our children”. Cool your jets, Austin.
Former pastor and religious fundamentalist, Rick Scarborough, seemed to suggest that he would set himself on fire over the decision. Then there is Rick Santorum, a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, who said that the rulings are, “…potentially disrupting the future of the world”. Okay, just calm your farm, Rick Santorum.
Literally, all that has changed is that more couples that love each can now get married. This is the equivalent of screaming ‘I HATE YOU MUM I HATE YOU MUM I HATE YOU’ and slamming your bedroom door as hard as you can because she is letting your sister eat dinner at the table next to you. This is just scratching the surface of the hysterical responses. And I mean hysterical both as in overwrought - and also as in funny.
What’s not funny is that these people are not having this overblown reaction to other issues. There is no huge and emotional outburst about the disproportional amount of homeless queer teenagers. There is no feverish tweet run about the number of transgender women of colour who are murdered, proportionately more than any other group.
Even outside of issues specific to the LGBTQI community, they are not doing it. They are not having this response to American children who are hungry, or unemployment, or violent racist attacks. So they make enjoying their misery really easy. Instead of getting upset at the ridiculous and offensive statements about same-sex marriage by some of these people, I instead chose to bask in the schadenfreude-heated warmth of their dramatics. I understand that they are acting out like this because they know they are on the losing side. And that is actually pretty great when you think about it.
They know that their stance is dying out. They know that the next generation will not be filled with the same resistance to progress and tolerance. And they are nervous that nobody will be on their side. And to be honest, they should be. They are going to keep losing.
Marriage equality is just one facet affecting the community. There is still a lot of work to be done, and they probably won’t enjoy any of that either. But luckily for the rest of us, that just means that they will be dragged kicking and screaming behind us, leaving a trail of delicious schadenfreude in their wake.
