* Note: The feature is solely based on the perspective of Ms Medel, noting that there are always different sides to a story.
Mum. Dad. Stepdad. Half-siblings. Sometimes, you don't end up with the family you began with. You may have a different life from the one you thought you’d have. You may feel broken at first; but in time, you heal, you move on, and you find yourself again.
Marriage, babies, divorce
"You never go into a marriage with the intention of getting divorced," Sydneysider and mum-of-four Joergette Medel says, recalling how her life changed in 2013 after her six-year marriage ended.
At that time, Ms Medel had been with her husband for a total of eleven years. The couple had two children together, Jai and Jamae, and Ms Medel was a stay-at-home mum.
"When I became a mum, everything was put on hold and I focused on the kids. That’s what happens. You focus on your family and you focus on your kids," she shares.
She was happy taking care of her family, but there was something missing. She could feel it in her bones. The push to search for her own professional calling grew stronger with each day - so strong that a denial of the push would mean a rejection of the self.
Joergette and her children, Jai and Jamae. Source: Joergette Medel
The more she questioned her purpose, the more she and her husband grew apart. The way they wanted to direct their lives suddenly shifted. She wanted to better herself and seek opportunities outside of the home, while he was happy with how their life was going.
The difference became even more glaring when she told him about wanting to go on a leadership cruise overseas. He didn't want her to leave, and things grew more tense when she came back.
"For a few months, [he would give me the] silent treatment, [then we would] argue until we were screaming in front of the kids. It wasn’t healthy. The only way we could communicate was through text."
In 2013, Ms Medel attended a leadership cruise overseas despite her husband asking her to stay home. Source: Joergette Medel
Things swiftly took a downward turn when after a few months, she wanted to leave for another seminar. It was then that he asked for a separation before she left. It wasn't anyone's fault really - they were simply taking different paths. They no longer wanted the same things.
A new blended family
Being forced to move on from the marriage, Ms Medel focused on taking care of her children and finding herself.
She no longer wanted the life she used to live; but the children were her priority, so having an amicable relationship with their father was vital. Custody was challenging but putting the children first meant putting both their egos aside.
"We are now more amicable than we used to be. We now have a working relationship because it’s all about the kids at the end of the day," she shares.
And when it comes to the children, Ms Medel shares that a part of her is glad that the separation and eventual divorce happened when they were only 2 1/2 and 5 years old. The children didn't have a sense yet of what a typical family looked like. Their life was their normal.
So when her current partner Anthony, came into their lives, the children didn't have a hard time accepting him as a part of the family.
"When I first introduced the kids to him, I said this is mummy’s friend, [then eventually], mummy's partner. We started doing things together slowly. They played video games together, and we would go to the park."
"First I introduced [Anthony] as mummy's friend, then [later on] mummy's partner." Source: Joergette Medel
Jai and Jamae happily welcomed their new twin sisters, Anastasia and Antoinette, to the family as well. Ms Medel made sure that from the start, her children from her previous marriage and her twin girls felt connected.
"I told my daughter first when I found out I was pregnant. [She] went to the ultrasound. She actually got to see the little bubbas in my tummy," Ms Medel says.
While Ms Medel and her partner aren't believers of traditional discipline, they found that they have been fortunate that their kids have been adaptable, making the transition to a blended family easier. Jai and Jamae refer to Anthony as 'papa', and help out with the twins as much as they can. 
What Ms Medel has found to be difficult is having her children on a part-time basis. While Jai and Jamae used to be with her during most of the week, her ex-husband wanted more time with them after the twins were born. She admits that she took this change really hard.
Joergette with her twin girls, Anastasia and Antoinette. Source: Joergette Medel
"I'm the mum, they should be with me," she says, but adds, "Now that I look back, it was a blessing. I needed time with the twins and to heal from the Caesarean section."
"Expanding, not breaking"
Ms Medel considers herself lucky - lucky to have learned from the life she used to have, to have her sweet and adaptable children, to love again, and to have found herself.
She shares that instead of focusing on how things have fallen apart, what she, her ex and her partner teach their children is to re-frame their thinking to how lucky they are to have more people who love them, to have both "mummy's family and daddy's family".
Not all happily-ever-afters look the same. Ms Medel shares that their family life is unconventional compared to how Filipinos believe it should look like; but for her, their family wasn't breaking. It was and is expanding. It is changing. And this really is their happily ever after.
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