Her absence meant more to them than anyone's presence.
When Angie Cardenas decided to leave the Philippines for Australia in 2015, she left behind her husband Charles and three-year old son Manuel.
Married after less than a year of dating, Angie and Charles were heavily involved with the family business at that time; however, the young couple felt that there were better opportunities for them abroad.
“It was fast,” Angie laughs, saying that she got married to her husband Charles after only less than a year of dating. Source: Angie Cardenas
Leaving the Philippines
"It was really hard to give up something stable, but we chose to take a risk and explore other possibilities," Angie shares, adding, "I decided to take up Master of Information Technology in La Trobe. Our plan was for me to leave first, stay with my in laws' best friends temporarily and, then get everything settled within two years before my family followed."
While Angie prepared herself for the difficulties she was about to face, she wasn't quite ready for the sacrifices involved with the dream.
"I was still nursing my son then. When I left, he developed separation anxiety and became sickly. He was in and out of the hospital a lot. I couldn't go home because uni just started. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do," she shares.
Whereas Angie felt like there was nothing she could do, Charles took on the role of both mum and dad.
Angie is grateful that Charles was there for Manuel through the good and bad while she was away. Source: Angie Cardenas
"I'm very grateful for his sacrifice. He became such a hands-on parent," Angie says.
Fighting loneliness
In as much as Charles handled parenting on his own, Angie had to contend with the loneliness of being away from home.
"I arrived in Australia on November 1. My husband's birthday is on November 8, followed by my son's birthday on November 20. I missed them. I felt so lonely," she shares.
And while loneliness became something that she constantly had to battle with, daily communication with Charles and Manuel and, learning how to drive helped keep her spirits up.
"I learned how to drive in Australia so I could explore Melbourne on my own. I explored different places so I wouldn't think too much," she says.
“I learned to drive. I explored different places so I could distract myself.” Source: Angie Cardenas
Developing friendships and reaching out to classmates who were dealing with similar issues also eased her out of isolation.
A visit home
After a year of being away, Angie went back to the Philippines during her school break. But although communication was constant between her and her family, she found that things weren't exactly the same as she left them.
"For the first three years of Manuel's life, we were always together. When I came back in 2016, he wasn’t at ease with me. He would just always be with his Papa and, he wasn’t calling me ‘mum’ that much. As a mum, it was painful.”
Being a child of an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) herself, Angie was hit with the realisation of her father's own pain of missing out on his children's lives.
“He wasn’t at ease with me. He would just always be with his Papa and, he wasn’t calling me ‘mum’ that much. As a mum, it was painful.” Source: Angie Cardenas
"The effect of being away was intense, but I wasn't going to allow my son to be distant," she shares, adding, "So during my three-month vacation, we did everything he wanted to do. I always picked him up and brought him to school. It brought back our bond as mother and son."
Together at last
A few weeks before Angie was scheduled to return to Australia, Charles confided that he could no longer continue on with the physical separation. He wanted their family intact again.
"I cancelled my flight to Australia and we re-booked on a date the three of us would fly out. We disregarded warnings about how hard it would be for all three of us to be in Australia. We had no house of our own and my husband didn't have a job. Luckily though, everything eventually worked out," she says.
The family has now been in Australia for four years. Angie currently works as an IT professional in the morning, while Charles works nights doing market research.
Angie, Charles and Manuel are now together, living in Australia. Source: Angie Cardenas
While the road towards their dream was paved with difficulty, Angie says that having faith and forcing herself to reach out to others helped her cope.
“It’s hard. I know a lot of people who have to leave their kids back home. We need to be there for each other. That's where I got my strength - from those going through the same thing."
ALSO READ
