James Patrick Miller also known as Patty Miller is now living his daily life under public scrutiny after joining Married at First Sight Season 5. "I've stayed the same but my world has changed" says the 34-year old bachelor.
Patty who was previously married in real life was also married to Sri lankan brand manager Charlene Perera in the TV show experiment. The love story may have been cut short between the two, but Patty continued to capture the hearts of thousands of women around the globe attracting a whooping 86,000 followers on instagram within a few days of being online. Thanks to his sweet personality which he inherited from his Filipino background.
Patty's intriguing life
Describing himself as a family-oriented man, Patty's mum, Ruby Miller is a typical 'protective' Filipina mother. Growing up, his mum’s ideas and opinions about dating greatly influenced him as a person though at the end of the day he gets to decide who he wants to date. “Ultimately it’s up to me in the end about who I go out with. But yeah I'd like to have my mother's acceptance."
Mothers know best they say and base on Patty's experience, his mum turned out to be right always."Yeah, basically she likes the ones that cook and clean for me. She's got the old school mentality. Mum does have that old traditional look on who I should be dating. We've got really different views on that."
Ruby Miller and Patty Miller on MAFS. Source: Patty Miller ig/ channel 9 MAFS
Patty's mum like any other parent in the world wants the best for her son; someone successful, someone with education, someone encouraging enough to drive him to become a better person.
Being 'in the limelight' has its good and bad sides. Patty loves that opportunities have opened for him after MAFS but he also dread times when opportunistic photographers take dodgy photos of him selling out stories that are not of best interest to him. "I've got no qualms with going up and telling them off. I try to be friends with everyone. Work together with me otherwise I don't want to work with you" he said.
Outspokenly describing his real life marriage as a "Filipino version of a Britney Spears marriage", Patty lived with his previous wife for only 10 months. Due to irreconcilable differences between him and his ex-wife concerning his father, they called the relationship quits both moving forward with their separate lives. Patty has learnt an important lesson from his first marriage, "you need to find someone that is very understanding of your culture, your upbringing, but I find that Filipinos, they can adapt to any culture. We are a very adaptable race.”
Patty also stressed the importance of adversities in a relationship for its existence is the best way to test a person's true character. "How someone reacts to a hardship. That's when I can judge someone because if everything is going well you don't know what a person's like."
Patty Miller and Charlene Perera on MAFS. Source: Patty Miller ig/ channel 9 MAFS
Traditional vs Modern dating
Raised by Filipino grandparents who were very conservative when it comes to dating, Patty respected the concept of Filipino dating but was more exposed to the modern manner.
Traditional courtship in the Philippines is described as "far more subdued and an indirect" approach compared to Westernised cultures. It involves stages inherent to Philippine culture such as the practise of singing romantic love songs, reciting poems, writing letters, and gift-giving this respect extends to the Filipina's family members and the concept of Cohabitation is not permissible before marriage. Western dating is described to be more "casual" and "direct". This can involve sexual intercourse and even cohabitation at the first instance that can either progress to marriage, break up or a quick partner change. Growing up in Australia bombarded by the society's way of dating, traditional dating made no impact to his perspectives. "I respect the concept of Filipino dating but I did not do that."
Finding love from dating apps
"I think a lot of temptation comes into play these days especially with internet dating. People are just so accessible. And I've seen a lot of things happen to my friends. People are tempted very easily, unfortunately. I guess it’s the downfall of being so accessible on social media and internet dating" he said.
Dating apps are now a vogue. At one click, you can be in a relationship.
Patty admits that after his first marriage he tried the internet dating but has stopped since then as he cannot give full attention to the ladies he met online. "When I didn't talk to them and give them the time they deserved they sort of got a little bit upset. So I just stopped talking altogether."
Internet dating can be interestingly fun but there are also red flags. Patty describes this type of dating as "it's very superficial, if you look good on the photos you are on a good chance on matching with people. Hopefully you don't find anyone that's a bit 'katok'."
While he discourages the use of dating apps to find a partner, he believes that the secret to a successful relationship rely on having a strong support network. "With any relationship or friendship or group, you need to have a really good support network behind you it’s really hard to do things by yourself. Having the right people around you for a relationship, you need to speak to people about it. Get some advise but ultimately, just be careful."
Pixabay (Creative Commons) Source: (Creative Commons)
Current status: Single? In a relationship? It's complicated?
Yes, he is 'always on the quest to finding the right one' but the eligible bachelor is not ready to date yet. However, if he indeed bump into 'her', he is potentially hoping for someone who is understanding, open, honest and accepting of his 'emotional-sensitive' personality.
Greatest takeaway on love
Patty strongly suggests that it is vital to contemplate a hundred times before jumping into a relationship otherwise trouble might await you.
"Keep your eyes and ears open, listen to the advise that people give you, but ultimately don't let their opinions drive what you gonna do. It's up to you what you wanna do in the end because you know what makes you happy" said Mr. Miller.
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