Highlights
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is accepting what is beyond your control and committing to action.
- The goal of the therapy is mindfulness and psychological flexibility.
- Practical advice includes singing negative thoughts and finding a meditative practice that works for you.
"Okay lang yan [It's okay], Push mo lang [Just keep pushing]...These are typical responses we have and hear as Filipinos when things aren't going well. But they don't really help, do they? They're automatic responses. What they're saying is "Let's not talk about it anymore."
Psychologist Aimee Santos shares that instead of trying to think positive, mindfulness is the key to finding peace or some sort of calm.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT emphasises sitting with the negative instead of struggling with it or fighting it. Source: Kelvin Valerio from Pexels
"Sometimes our expectations are unrealistic and we live in a place of denial.
"The important thing is to start noticing when you start feeling something negative - whether it be anxiety, depression. Ask yourself what you should do. Do you fight this or do you run away?"
Aside from fighting or fleeing, Aimee shares a more effective way of trying to find calm or peace when things are beyond one's control.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) sees you sitting with the negative instead of denying it or struggling with it.
"ACT is an intervention that helps us focus on acceptance of unwanted experieces that make us feel uncomfortable.
"The typical problem we have is that we want to control everything. According to Dr. Russell Harris, an ACT trainer, control is the problem and not the solution."
The six principles of ACT
The ultimate goal of the six principles of ACT is psychological flexibility. Source: meijii from Pexels
1. Acceptance
"When we struggle with negative feelings or experiences and we continue fighting, it's like being in quicksand," Aimee says, adding, "When you're in quicksand, the worst thing you can do is thrash about and fight. In order to escape from it, you need to stretch out your arms and legs and try to float to safety."
Aimee shares that acceptance is the alternative to avoidance.
"It's basically sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts that you don't want to face. Use your senses to feel. Acknowledge that the feeling is there, let's say, fear that you might get COVID.
"Also ask yourself that if you do start feeling uncomfortable feelings, do you turn on your struggle switch? Do you turn to that which numbs you or gives you immediate gratification? This is why addiction - to alcohol, drugs, smoking - is so common."
2. Cognitive Defusion
Once you start having the negative thoughts, cognitive defusion is about letting your thoughts come and go rather than holding on to them.
"The self is permanent. Thoughts come and go.
When you pull away from the uncomfortable feelings brought about negative thoughts and experiences, you can reframe how you see things.
"This is where mindfulness begins."
3. Being present
"Being present is about the here and now. It's not about dwelling on the past. It's not about worrying about the future," Aimee shares, adding, "We waste so much time not being in-the-now, not realising that it's fleeting."
Staying in the present reduces the impact of the past and future on one's thoughts.
"Let's say you broke your leg and you're in a cast. Instead of dwelling on how you could run marathons in the past, or whether or not you'll be able to walk again, look at your current condition. You're still alive, breathing, maybe the pain isn't as bad as it is today."
4. Observing self as a third-person
"Remove yourself from yourself so that you'll be able to look at things objectively.
"A lot of people in healthcare, who deal with sickness and death, do this all the time subconsciously. When a patient is sick or dying, they remain objective so that they are able to do their jobs. It makes them present and aware."
5. Values
Acceptance, cognitive defusion, being present and observing yourself as a third-person are not ends in themselves. Instead, they lead to activities that we value and give our lives meaning.
Values lead us to figure out who we are and what we want our lives to look like or be about. Figuring out our values will help us move forward despite challenges, uncomfortable feelings and negative experiences.
6. Committed action
Committed action means doing everything you can to live the values that are important to you.
"Doing ACT really is a commitment, because mindfulness and doing all that it takes to reach a certain level of peace or calm is difficult. It's an everyday thing; but believe me, when you're able to do these things, you'll be all the better for it."
Practical advice and psychological flexibility
Mindfulness is difficult, but it will lead to calm and peace. Source: Victor Freitas from Pexels
1. Sing your negative thoughts or use a cartoon character voice to diminish their power
"When my husband and I watch a horror flick, we end up singing our feelings of fear to the tune of 'Happy Birthday,' she laughs, "It's a silly exercise and it works."
2. Find a meditative practice that works for you.
"Yoga doesn't work for everyone," Aimee says, adding, "It could be baking or gardening for you. You can hum while your doing the activity."
3. Being present in experiences.
"It can be as simple as a warm shower and just enjoying the water on your skin."
4. Humor
"Luckily, we Filipinos are really good at coping through humor.
"When it comes to humor and anxiety, metaphorically, they travel the same train line. It's about which one overtakes the other. Finding enjoyment in things is also part of this."
5. Having contingency plans
"I think we've come to a point in the pandemic that we know that things are very uncertain. Plans change just like that. Celebrations can be put on hold. We have to be flexible and have contingency plans.
"Flexibility will also mean looking at what can be done to replace what was lost. Let's say if you're not able to go on a trip, look at it as an opportune time to renovate or redecorate your home."
