A first-time mum's struggle over bullying, mental health

Everyone's pregnancy journey is different, for some women it could be a lot harder than what it is for others. But apart from dealing with the many medical complications during her pregnancy, Desa Santos has to bear the heavy strike of bullying and mental health too.

Desa Santos winning Charity Princess in Miss Philippines-Australia in 2014 (left photo) and 37 weeks pregnant in December 2019. Source: Miss Philippines-Australia Facebook / SBS Filipino

Not only did she is hit with medical challenges of becoming a young first-time mum, but the former Charity Princess Australia 2014 and Miss Philippines Australia 2014 candidate also has endured bullying because of weight gain from her pregnancy, and struggled with her mental health having to deal with negative and unnecessary comments from the community she grew up with. 

"I had so much complications, not a lot of people know but I was struggling with my mental health. Even if you try to be resilient it's kind of hard 'coz you're vulnerable. You try to adapt everything that you can learn trying to prepare for your first child," says Ms Santos who gave birth to her son in early January.

Desa, with partner Matthew, after enduring the labour pain and giving birth to their son Lio Source: Facebook

She had a lot of experiences where people would say words like "it's going to be horrible, your life's going to change, you're unprepared, you're so young".

Desa Santos poses for Miss Philippines-Australia in 2014 Source: Miss Philippines-Australia Facebook

Although the young mum loves her Filipino culture, she said that certain standards set by the community has to change, adding "I love my Filipino culture, that's where I grew up, but, don't get me wrong, I think it's about time that the elderly or anyone that grew up in the Filipino culture needs to kind of have an open-mind that not everyone will have the way that they wanted it to be".

Certain standards that have greatly affected how people see and act towards others. "When I fell pregnant, it's almost like people were looking at me as if I'm going to be in a death row, I'm gonna be hung, I'm gonna die," bravely narrates Ms Desa.

Despite being massively affected by the bullying and confronted by her mental health, Desa Santos, who was very active in the community as a singer/performer and doing charities before getting pregnant, was able to finish her degree in nursing and graduated last December while being heavily pregnant.

She hopes to inspire young women to be strong and stay resilient in whatever challenges that may come their way. It will also help that when you are going through something painful and hard, that you reach out to people who you can truly trust and seek help and advice for your mental health from trusted organisations and services as "it will bring a difference in your life".

Desa during her graduation day in December 2019 with her parents Precy and Rogelio Santos Source: Facebook

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