Sometimes, when a relationship ends, both of you feel that calling things to a close was the right thing to do. But somehow, you just don’t feel things are over just like what Trix is going through.
"We met through our mutual friend. She introduced us through Facebook. That time he was living in Dubai and I was living Melbourne. He’s got family in Melbourne and fate didn’t allow us to meet then as he just left to go back to Dubai after visiting Melbourne. Sayang no?
Pero that didn’t stop anything for us. We became friends and he pursued me.
After a year or so, he came to visit Melbourne again, this time because of me and he also wanted to meet my family.
He came and met everyone I loved. The first time we saw each other, it was that feeling when you’re whole world stopped. “Grabe, eto na ba yun?” He became my everything, he became my whole world, he became everything I’ve hoped and prayed for.
Fast forward to our UK trip. It was the most awaited trip of my life. First time to travel with a guy and without my family. At first my strict dad didn’t really want me to go, eventually I was able to convince him after buying our tickets (hehe).
Like I said, it was the most awaited trip for me. I stopped at Dubai first so I could meet him there and he could tour me around too then we flew to UK together. But the trip wasn’t as magical as I thought it would be. Have you all watched the filo movie “Through Night and Day”? We had the same experiences. We fought a lot. We saw each other’s differences, flaws, insecurities and just every little thing that made the trip a little sad. Yes, we met and travelled places but all the fights we had outweighed all the beautiful sceneries and experiences.
There was a highlight of the trip, which took me by surprise. I forgot to mention that our 7-day trip included places in the UK like London, then we travelled to Wales and Scotland in a tour bus. We met a lot of amazing people and up to this day, I still remember each one of them and we’ve connected through social media platforms too. Scotland came and this place was mind blowing. I fell in love with this place and just didn’t want to leave.
We went to this particular place in Scotland; Scott’s View, where you get to see a nice view and there’s like a bench by this valley. He took me to sit on the bench, and next thing I know he was already kneeling down with a box of a preserved rose and there’s a ring in it. He proposed. I was left speechless. Ofc I wanted to marry him but a part of me didn’t want to just yet. During that time, I was still studying in Uni and had a part time job. I had not proven anything to myself yet, nor to my family that time and I was already gonna get married? Those were the thoughts running in my head after saying yes to him. Yes, I was scared and confused. But I loved him very much. You know that feeling where you were so in love but just not in the same page with your life goals and dreams (just yet)? It was all surreal yet so scary for me.
Fast forward to our engagement preparations. He was organising everything including moving to Melbourne for good with me; starting our own lives together.
When everything was just becoming too much; balancing uni, work and sorting the requirements for his move here, I became a coward and ran away from him. I ran away from what could’ve been for us.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved him and up until today I still do. But I couldn’t handle the pressure, the fights and our distance anymore. He came to Melbourne and there we met. I returned the ring to him and we said our goodbyes.
It might seem like that I threw everything away but it was the hardest thing I had to do. I’ve finished uni and I’ve got a corporate job now. It’s funny how I’m ready and probably on the same page he was on before. But it’s all too late.
Naging ready na ako pero wala na siya. To my “totga”, I still pray that one day, fate will be on our side and let us start our story again.
I’ve loved you ever since and I don’t think I can ever stop loving you.
Ilang taon na din nakakalipas simula nung pinalaya na nya ako. Pero hindi ko alam kung sa puso ko, kaya ko na ba syang palayain. TOTGA nga naman. Paano ba?"
