Melanie Vega tells SBS Filipino love down under that she met her 5-year partner in Singapore via an online dating app.
She admits that it was her first time to date a non-Filipino.
“Hi, you look so good. you look like Vin Diesel," she giggles while admitting that these were her first words to her current partner.
The two went separately for awhile and then met again in Bali. It was in the beautiful island of Bali where their relationship took off.
Moving to Australia
Ms Vega decided to move to Australia in 2018 to get to know her Aussie partner.
“I got to know him better when I moved to Australia because I was able to see him in his comfort zone. I met his family and kids."
Ms Vega adds that she didn't apply for a partner visa right away.
"I applied for a student visa instead of a partner visa so that if the relationship won’t work, I can always back out.”
Challenges on language barrier
Although Ms Vega speaks English well, she admits that language barrier is still a challenge in their relationship.
“I sound like I'm angry when I talk so he would think I’m angry. I tell him I’m not angry, this is how we talk in the Philippines. I might sound angry but trust me I’m not.”
Ms Vega also shares that there were times when she struggled to express herself and used undescriptive words that her partner could not understand.
“I asked him how come the light is still like this, then he said what’s like this, what are you talking about?”
She's open to admit that the language difference can trigger most of their arguments.
“It can get very frustrating like how you express yourself. Sometimes I can say something that can trigger a fight. Its because of the way I said it and the words I chose but its not really what I meant.”
There were also times that she would rather keep the issue to herself to avoid explaining in English.
“I keep it to myself and just say nevermind. I think what’s challenging is when I hear his voice raise, I get scared and I’d quickly think how can I explain myself in English."
Overcoming the language difference
While arguments are part of any relationship, Ms Vega shares she is grateful that they are able to overcome it.
“I trained myself to adjust and communicate properly because they might also find it disrespectful on their end. We have to meet halfway. So I try to calm myself down when Im addressing something to him.”
Cooking is her love language for him
Ms Vega shares that her partner and his kids are open to learning her culture that’s why she finds opportunities to share it to them.
“[As Filipinos] I always believe that cooking is our language of love. So I would cook Filipino food for them and they would love it. Their favourite Filipino dish is lumpia.”
Ms Vega encourage interracial couples that respect and communication are key to resolving issues in the relationship.
“The first two years is a crucial stage for every relationship regardless of culture and language. But it becomes more complicated when there is a language difference. My advise is to never walk out the door if you have an argument with your partner. Stay in that house and talk it out.”
