Highlights
- Tinawag si Ryan Sta. Maria na 'salot' ng kanyang pamilya dahil isa siyang gay.
- Naging determinadong lumaya sa kahirapan si Ryan.
- Pagkatapos ng mga paghihirap na humantong sa isang suicide attempt, nagbebenta na ngayon si Ryan ng gourmet tuyo at iba pang mga produkto upang makapagpadala ng relief funds sa dati niyang paaralan.
"Growing up, my family would always say to me that I needed to work harder than most. It was because they said I was gay and therefore, 'salot' ['pestilence' in Filipino] and I needed to make up for that."
Nagtrabaho at nagsipag si Ryan Sta. Maria hindi dahil may kakulangan siya, kundi upang magkaroon ng mas magandang kinabukasan at upang makatulong sa iba.
Ryan worked hard to create a better life for himself and that, in turn, helped him provide a better life for others. Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
Walang madali
Hindi naging madali ang pag-angat sa buhay para kay Ryan.
Isang anak ng Malbago, Bontoc, Southern Leyte, iniwang siya ng kanyang mga magulang sa pangangalaga ng kanyang lola dahil tila masyado pa raw silang bata noong dumating siya sa kanilang mga buhay.
"Every time I would ask for an allowance for school from my grandmother, my uncle would get angry and say that my parents don't send any.
Ryan's parents left him in the care of his grandmother. Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"The poverty I grew up in pushed me to find a way out of it."
Ang paraan niya upang makalaya sa kahirapan ay ang edukasyon, ngunit para sa ilan sa kanyang mga kamag-anak, aksaya lamang ito ng panahon.
"Some of my uncles and aunts wanted me to stop studying. They said I should just work in the fields.
"I didn't want to quit school so I found a way to fund my studies. I worked for free for a friend in his salon and he helped fund my schooling.
"I didn't want to quit school so I found a way to fund my studies. I worked for free for a friend in his salon and he helped fund my schooling. Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"I had a teacher - Ms Erlinda - who taught me the value of working hard. Even when I was young I knew I was gay. My family looked down on me because of it. Ms Erlinda told me working hard in school was my way out of that situation."
Naging matagumpay si Ryan sa paaralan at nabigyan siya ng partial university scholarship para sa Business Management at Marketing.
Gamit ang degree na ito, nagtrabaho siya ng tatlong taon sa Philippine Fashion Week at pagkatapos noon, sa Thailand at Australya.
Ryan [seated] in Thailand Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"I didn't feel like I belonged."
Nagkaroon siya ng mas magandang mga oportunidad dahil sa kanyang edukasyon at mas lalo lamang gumanda ang mga ito ng mag-aral siya sa Auatralya. Ngunit, maraming hinarap din na problema si Ryan sa Australya.
"I studied in Brisbane first, then moved to Adelaide after a year. I looked for work while I was studying because I was depleting my savings at that point. I couldn't find any. I was getting depressed.
"My housemates constantly nagged me about being unemployed. Whenever I talked with my parents, they would always bring up religion and my sexuality. My brothers were pastors and my father would still force me as he always did to take the same path."
Ryan as a student Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
Ang mga pananalitang ito ang nagtulak kay Ryan na komprotahin ang matagal na niyang pinipigilang lumabas - na apektado siya sa lahat ng mga patama sa kanya noong bata pa siya. Paniwala niya na talagang wala siyang silbi.
"I had a lot of insecurities. I didn't feel like I belonged in Australia. For my family, me being gay, being who I was, who I waswas abhorrent."
2019 noong nagtangkang magpakamatay si Ryan gamit ang isang bote ng pills.
"I had a lot of insecurities. I didn't feel like I belonged in Australia. For my family, me being gay, being who I was, was abhorrent." Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"One of my housemates found me and forced me to throw up. I woke up in the hospital with police around me. The doctor said if I hadn't been found, I would be dead.
"I cried for two days straight and apologised to my housemates."
Sinabi ng kanyang doktor na kinailangan niyang alagaan ang kayang sarili o baka maaari siyang ma-deport.
"For me to be able to stay in Australia, I needed to prove I could contribute to society and not be a burden on the system."
Pagbibigay
Hindi naging madali ang paggaling ni Ryan, ngunit nagpatuloy siya.
Lumipat siya sa Melbourne kung saan siya nag-aral ng Commercial Cookery pagkatapos niyang ma-diskubreng muli ang pagmamahal niya sa pagluluto pagkatapos niyang magtrabaho sa isang pastry shop.
"Things were looking up and I was earning well. I looked back on my life and realised I needed to reach out to those who got me to where I was."
He moved to Melbourne and started studying Commercial Cookery after rediscovering a love for cooking. Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
Ang mga taong ito ay ang mga guro na nakilala niya noong bata pa siya sa Southern Leyte. Pagkatapos bayaran ang kanyang mga sariling bills, nagpapadala siya ng pera't supplies sa dating niyang paaralan.
"I know how life is back home. I lived it. They weren't asking for help, but I wanted to do it."
Tapos, biglang nangyari ang pandemya. Nawalan ng trabaho si Ryan noong Hunyo.
"I know how life is back home. I lived it. They weren't asking for help, but I wanted to do it." Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"I didn't know how to earn money to pay my bills and at the same time, send money to the school.
"I saw people back in the Philippines selling food online and it gave me the idea to sell gourmet tuyo [dried fish] here. I named the business Spice of Life Gourmet and decided to use my tax refund to fund it."
Gamit ang kanyang tax refund at suporta ng kanyang partner ngayon, nagbebenta si Ryan ng gourmet tuyo at iba pang produkto. 10% ng kita sa mga ito ay pinapadala niya sa dati niyang paaralan.
"They use the money to buy supplies and print out modules for the kids who are unable to go to school because of the pandemic.
Ryan sells gourmet tuyo and other Filipino products to raise funds for his hometown school. Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"Eventually, if I earn more, I want to be able to extend my help to the other schools in my hometown."
Hindi madali ang naging landas ni Ryan, na ngayo'y nakahawak ng bridging visa habang hinihintay ang approval ng kanyang protection visa.
"I'm better now. I go to a therapist and I take care of myself. I still talk with my mum, but it's mostly small talk. I don't have a relationship with my dad.
Ryan shares that life is much better now. Source: Ryan Sta. Maria
"What life has taught me though is the value of hard work, education and self-belief. Those helped me get through everything."
BASAHIN / PAKINGGAN DIN
