The grief of a miscarriage leaves behind a vast trauma.
According to a new study however, in heterosexual couples, the way men react to the loss of a child is different compared to women.
Doctor Jade Bilardi from the Melbourne Sexual Health Centre, and the University of Melbourne's Professor Meredith Temple-Smith, have released a study which explores the experiences of men who whose partner has suffered a miscarriage.
During the course of the study, the men reported that aside from their grief, they were experiencing feelings of anger, devastation and powerlessness.
Dr Jade Bilardi says men felt the need to be a supporter by projecting strength but often were at a loss on how to best to support their partner.
"They didn't want to speak to their partner a lot of the time because they felt that they would be putting further burden on their partner if they spoke to them, so they didn't speak to them. They often found that their family and friends whilst well intentioned, didn't necessarily offer them the support that they needed or wanted them to almost move on and look to the future rather than necessarily talk about how they felt. So men often turned to online support or pregnancy loss organisations for the support that they weren't necessarily getting from people around them", Dr Bilardi said.
Men often feel they are not able to get the support they need from the people close to them Source: Supplied
Professor Meredith Temple-Smith, from the Department of General Practice at the University of Melbourne, says men need support services that are suited to their needs.
"They're very busy focusing helping their partner through the sort of physical part of the miscarriage because she's going through that then they're intensely mindful of that but then once all the dust is settled, so to speak and it's time to move on with life, both partners find that they really didn't cope with things as well as they had hoped. And there is this sort of sense that you need to kind of get on with things and get back into life. This is not an uncommon experience but the trouble is that people are not sharing it very well and they're not really getting the support they might need.’’
Sands Australia is a support group that offers help to people who have lost a child before, during or shortly after birth. If this story has raised issues for you, you can get support from Sands Australia by calling its 24 hour support line on 1300 072 637.
