'I am just tired of fighting with you and everyone else
I am tired of fighting your own belief
My eyes are tired too
I just wanted to be happy maa
Just like you.
Why is that so hard?
Why is it like this?
Thousands of miles away where I am telling my story like everyone else
I really wish you did not react, the way you did maa
When I told the truth to myself.
I have an open sky now maa,
I just don’t have you!
‘Dear maa’, An ode to her mother by Kamalika Dasgupta
Kamalika Dasgupta, Founder, SheQu Group Inc Source: Supplied
“They asked me and I had to tell them that I was gay and it all just went down from there,” she told SBS Hindi.
“I tried to talk to my mother but she didn’t understand. She said I was a disgrace to my family and that they didn’t expect this from me.
Ms Dasgupta says it has been tough to come to terms with her own sexuality while being spurned by her family.
“I hid my sexuality for a long time. I struggled accepting myself as a Queer ethnic woman. I couldn’t accept myself. There is no exposure to homosexuality in ethnic communities.
“When I came out to my family, their only concern was how they will face our extended family, and how I had broken their dreams and happiness,” she says.
She wishes her parents had understood and accepted her.
“I wish they did not label us as bad or a failure. I wish there were more resources, more exposure, and more role models in our society,” she says.
While her family in India spurned her, she also faced issues at work in Sydney.
“I am an accountant and a business advisor and my industry is a very hetero-normative and very male-dominated. I am often asked questions like if I have boyfriend or husband.
“We have so much to fight, just to survive in the career when you are a queer woman from an ethnic background."
If something has helped her, it has been establishing her non-profit organisation SheQu Group Inc. which provides help and support to LGBT+ women from ethnic backgrounds.
Source: Supplied
“Now I am not fighting this fight alone, I have other people with me. When I get low and think about how tragic my life is, thinking about my organisation gives me a kick and puts a fire in my belly. SheQu Group Inc is not “I” anymore, it has become “We” now,” she says.
Source: Supplied
“We paved the way for our younger generation, to be proud of who you are, and not to be ashamed of something which is not in your hand.
“The attitude of corporates has changed, and so has the attitude of people. “But I feel we have more work to do.
"We still have 38.4% of people who have voted no and are against marriage equality.
“Queer ethnic women are still in the lower category of the social pyramids, we still face intersectionality of homophobia, racism and sexism, in our daily lives.
"So, we have just won a battle, but we are yet to win the war,” she says.
