How to manage the family stress of extended lockdown

Founder of Sydney Cocoro Clinic, Shiori Yano is a qualified psychologist in Japan and Australia. Source: Shiori Yano

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Family stress is increasing due to prolonged lockdowns and restrictions. We asked Ms Shiori Yano, a Japanese clinical psychologist from Sydney Cocoro Clinic, how to deal with lockdowns and remote learning.

The delta outbreak has drastically changed our lives over the past few months.

For the people living under prolonged lockdown in Sydney, Melbourne and Canberra, the added stress of remote learning and working from home is beginning to take a toll on families, with "lockdown fatigue" becoming more evident.

Shiori Yano, a clinical psychologist at Sydney Cocoro Clinic says, more people were expressing fatigue and reaching out for help from about 3-4 weeks into lockdown, with many stressed about having to juggle remote learning and working from home, and having to spend all day with family members.

From young children requiring constant supervision over school work, to native spouses having to manage both school and work, tension is increasing in families, says Ms Yano.

Father working from home with his kids. Source: Getty Images/Marko Geber

So, how can children and families manage this extended lockdown and stress?

Structure your day

"It is a good idea to talk with your children and make a schedule. For example, go for a 30 minutes walk after breakfast, do this work when you get home, do this after lunch, go to the park in the afternoon and so on"

In the evenings, Ms Yano recommends looking over the schedule with your child to see how well they were able to follow it.

"Give them stickers, and reward them for every 10 stickers collected"

Many may experience lack of regularity in their day-to-day lives, such that one may lose track of the days. To deal with such situation, Ms Yano recommends something sailors and Japanese self-defence forces have been implementing for a many years - "Friday Curry Night" - deciding on one particular meal at the end of every working week.

"Make sure your weekends feel like a weekend by doing something different to the weekdays. Go for a walk on the beach or go bush walking, whatever that restriction allows you to do"

Make weekends actually feel like a weekend by doing special family activities Source: Getty Images/FatCamera

"Order takeaway or deliveries, or plan something small that the children can look forward to"

In addition, it is important to think positively.

"Consciously look for and remind yourself about the positive aspect of the lockdown, such as having more time to study, clean-and-declutter and plenty of time to spend with family. And be grateful"

It is also vital for parents to pay attention to their own mental health, and to take a break.

"Understand your own emotions and situations by sympathising with yourself " says Ms Yano.

Tell yourself, "you are doing a great job despite the difficulties", "feeing stressed is normal".

Exploring children's stress and anxiety through play

Unlike adults, many children will have difficulty trying to understand and to express their own emotions, such that their worries may appear as physical symptoms, like fatigue, lack of motivation, stomachache and diarrhea.

In such cases, Ms Yano suggests giving children empathetic words to address their feelings like "Perhaps you don't feel so good, because you can't go to school?"

Drawing is another way to communicate emotions, especially for non-verbal children.

Drawing together with your child can be a way to understand and communicate about worries and stress. Source: Getty Images/skynesher

"Talk about the drawing that they have done, or parents may draw a responsive picture. Asking your child to draw a continuation or resolution of the story may be helpful. These are some of the techniques used in art therapies"

10 things to help maintain your mental health

Here are 10 things Ms Yano recommends to maintain your mental well being.

Do 45minutes to 1hour of aerobic exercise every day or every second day to produce enough serotonin.
Structure your day.
Do something different to change your mood, rather than engaging in same routine everyday.
Don't rely too much on your drinking habits.
Create/plan small pleasures, such as eating something different.
Don't stay at home all day. Go outside at least once or twice a day, such as going for a walk or shopping within the limits.
Get some sunlight. Especially to wake up in the morning.
Take a warm bath or shower to increase serotonin levels.
Think about what you have gained from the lockdown and feel grateful for.
Take a good look at your own emotions, think about why you are feeling the way you are and empathize with yourself often.

How to identify early signs of mental health issues

Talk to a specialist

Many people may feel reluctant or anxious to see a specialist, especially if this is their first time. But Ms Yano recommends seeking for help, if you are under the following situation.

The drop in your mood or motivation does not go away in a few days, and lasts for more than two weeks
Your mood does not change for a certain period of time, even when you're engaging in fun activities like talking with your friends.
You don't have many people to talk to or consult with, and there is a lack of communication. When you feel too lonely.
When you feel like hurting yourself, such as self-harming.

You can either contact your psychologist directly, or ask your GP to refer you to an appropriate specialist.

In Australia, if you are referred by a GP, the cost of psychological counseling is covered not only by Medicare, but also by overseas travel insurance and student insurance for working holidaymakers and international students.

Psychological counseling over telehealth is also available at least until end of the year, for most services.