Here's ol' mate Donald Trump, chowing down on a taco bowl in celebration of Cinco de Mayo and DEFINITELY NOT looking to win Latin votes:
Here are six other demographics Trump can lock down easily, with just a few images of himself with food.
1. Women
Trump reclines in a robe (worn over his signature blue suit) in bed with a box of chocolates. "Ah yes", he thinks. "This will get me the votes I need! Women will believe anything! LOL!". The photo is captioned: "Just like women, I love chocolate! They eat it when they get their periods and cry about all the things men do to them. Sad! I love women!" 2. Hipsters
The photo shows Trump, in his trademark blue suit, sitting cross-legged on grass with his daughter Ivanka next to him. He smiles, though we can see in his eyes that he is uncomfortable, because the suit is riding up in all the wrong places, and he has a wedgie. The photo is captioned: "Portland has the best food trucks! I love fusion food, a great legal way to combine cultures! Yum!" 3. Rednecks
Trump sits in the back of an obnoxiously large truck, again, he is cross-legged and again, he regrets his stylist's decision to only allow him one ~look~. He is eating a bowl of "Sketti", the pasta dish made famous on hit show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, comprising of spaghetti and a sauce made from tomato sauce and butter melted together in the microwave. He asks the photographer to snap the photo quickly, as he fears he may be ill. The photo is captioned: "Sometimes the best things in life are close to free! I l love Sketti! It feels good to keep it real and get back to basics! #99percenters #relatable" 4. Murderers
"Kind of a counter-productive demographic to target, since, you know, all the ones who've been convicted aren't eligible to vote, but hey. There are probably plenty of serial killers running around that have time to vote, otherwise what would the FBI do all day, right?" Trump ponders, during a strategy meeting. The photo set-up is this: Trump sits in a dark room, alone in a nondescript armchair, lit only by a solitary, flickering lamp. Of course, the flicker won't show up in the image, but it adds to the mood in the room. Trump sits with a bowl of cooked liver in his lap; the smell wafting upward. He grimaces, but the polls were clear, so he forces a smile. The photo is captioned: "So important to get your protein in order to carry out tasks that other people aren't up for or capable of. Wow! Liver is the food of the elite! #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #LiverAlone"
5. Potheads
Trump tries to recline further as the photographer tells him to look more relaxed. This is difficult for him, especially in the damn suit. It's so snug, and he has grown to hate it. His red tie is choking him. "Try taking a few deep breaths", the photographer suggests, and it takes all of Trump's restraint to tell him that he can't, out of fear he will pop a button. No one can know his darkest secret; he only owns one blue suit, and it needs to make it through the campaign. He tries to shake this thought, and focus on the task at hand. He shimmies further back onto the lounge, a plate of burgers sits on his stomach. The photo is captioned: "Wow! Nothing better than unwinding at the end of a long day with a few doobies, amirite???! Yum! #420 #blazeit #burgersforone"
6. Goths
Source: Columbia Pictures
