Two Australians on death row for their role in the Bali Nine drug smuggling operation have revealed exclusively to Dateline on SBS ONE why they gambled with their lives and how they are trying to make amends.
Myuran Sukumaran, 29, and Andrew Chan, 26, have not spoken before about the bungled attempt to smuggle 8.3kg of heroin out of Bali five years ago or about their lives inside "Death Row Tower", the super-max section of Kerobokan Prison.
The men are making a final bid to get their death sentences overturned, with a final hearing expected to be held in Bali on Friday before their appeals are sent to Indonesia's Supreme Court for a verdict.
Sukumaran told Dateline reporter Mark Davis he gets a "a lot" of hate mail from Australians who tell him that he deserves to die.
He also revealed he joined the Bali Nine because he didn't want to work in a mailroom for the next 50 years of his life.
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"I thought, nup, can't do this, and then you see all these people in, like, nightclubs with nice BMWs and nice Mercedes and, you know, there's always chicks there and you know they're always buying drinks for everybody and you think, f***, you know, how do you do this on a mailroom salary?"
Chan told Dateline he is a pastor in the prison church, is studying religion and has fallen in love with a Balinese woman. He also apologises for his role in the Bali Nine operation.
"I'm thankful that every day I actually get to wake up.
"I'm studying and a lot of people might see that and say oh, you know, there's probably no use towards that but I believe that if you want to try to build yourself up to something, you know, you gotta start somewhere.
"You gotta start today, you know? Maybe tomorrow I won't exist. (It) makes me want to become a better person today and not tomorrow."
