North Queensland forward Coen Hess believes he's let himself and his NRL club down with his failure to back up successfully from State of Origin in a brutal assessment of his own form.
Hess made his Origin debut last season but failed to make an impact in the opening two games of this year's series as Queensland fell 2-1 to NSW.
It hasn't gotten any easier for the 21-year-old back at the Cowboys, who are in the midst of a grim campaign.
They are second-bottom on the NRL ladder and will miss the finals for the first time in eight years.
Hess is not looking for excuses and has vowed to learn from those who have successfully juggled club and state commitments.
"It definitely takes its toll, you play a few games in a short period of time," Hess told reporters in Townsville on Wednesday.
"Being young, I have to learn and accept that.
"My performances after Origin were nowhere near up to standard compared to some other boys who played Origin.
"That's something I can learn from and something I definitely need to improve on.
"You do have aches and pains backing up but mentally it can be tough playing a lot of minutes in a short period of time."
Hess turned in a reasonable enough performance at the weekend in North Queensland's defeat to Canberra in the nation's capital.
But he believes he has much more to give and is determined to show it for the remainder of the season - not just to salvage pride for himself and the Cowboys but to ensure retiring legend Johnathan Thurston is sent out in the right fashion.
"I have a few weeks now to hopefully find some form and get a few wins to make it good for Johnno," Hess said.
"He's been at the forefront of our club and this year's been pretty disappointing.
"As a playing group we've been taking it a bit personal that we're not playing up to the standards that he's set for a very long time.
"If we can get a few wins and make his last two months or so enjoyable for him it would be a good thing."
The Cowboys face third-placed St George Illawarra at home on Saturday night.
