Murder accused Gerard Baden-Clay has denied he loved his mistress Toni McHugh but admitted to deceiving both his wife and Ms McHugh for years.
Under cross examination at his trial, the 43-year-old insisted he never loved his on-again off-again mistress Ms McHugh, despite telling her he did a number of times.
Crown Prosecutor Todd Fuller asked the accused about emails he sent Ms McHugh in April 2012 from a secret account.
Baden-Clay wrote on April 3: "I have given you a commitment and I intend to stick to it - I will be separated by July 1" and on April 11: "this is agony for me too. I love you".
"You couldn't live without her could you?" Crown prosecutor Todd Fuller said.
"Yes, I could," Baden-Clay replied.
"I often said to her things in order to placate her, what she wanted to hear...I hoped it would calm her down."
He also said he wanted to keep having sex with her and had no intention of leaving his wife.
The former real estate agent reported his wife missing from their home in Brookfield in Brisbane's west on April 20, 2012.
Allison Baden-Clay's body was found on a creek bank at nearby Anstead 10 days later.
Baden-Clay has pleaded not guilty to murder.
The accused agreed he deceived Allison for more than four years when he had two separate affairs but denied making her believe she was the problem.
"We both acknowledged there were issues," he said.
He also admitted to arranging sex with a woman he knew at a Sydney real estate conference in a third, brief affair.
He said the woman, Jackie Crane, worked for a real estate agency on the Sunshine Coast and he'd met her at a training course.
He'd discussed sleeping with her at the conference "a couple of months" beforehand.
Baden-Clay agreed he invited Ms McHugh to Sydney to stay with him the following day.
Describing how he had sex twice with Ms McHugh several months after dumping her in September 2011, Baden-Clay said one tryst happened after they met at a coffee shop.
"When we went back to our cars to leave. I sat in her car and talked with her for a little bit longer and - how much sordid detail am I expected to give?" he said.
"It wasn't sex as in intercourse."
Mr Fuller asked: "Who was more important to you, Mr Baden-Clay?"
"Allison, absolutely. Allison," the accused said.
Mr Fuller then read from a 2008 blog post by Baden-Clay in which he'd written: "For the past week I've been trying to do my best impersonation of my dear wife - and struggling," Mr Fuller read.
"Allison turned the big 40 earlier this year and to mark the occasion her and her best friend have taken a week off at the Golden Door Health Spa."
Baden-Clay said he recalled the post.
"And what did you go on to tell the readers?" Mr Fuller asked, before defence barrister Michael Byrne interjected and asked to raise a matter in the absence of the jury.
The trial was adjourned.
Share
